TW* Im watching a show and was on the second last season of it, I went on google to read about the characters and it got spoiled for me. Bascially the guy in the show throughout the series has sex with tons of women hes the 2nd lead actor, now part that got spoiled for me was that he ends up falling in love with a man and goes gay in the last season. I continued watching the show and the whole time I was just focused on the said gay guy and how and which man was he was going to fall for and its ruined the show for me bc I didnt enjoy any other characters' parts or storylines, everything else kinda faded out for me. It didnt directly trigger me but it feels like throughout the last season I was just confused and felt like Im gay aswell. I just cant seem to imagine and picture myself with a girl, with guys it just feels more normal and like easier to do and it feels like I want to like guys now, it feels sweet and stuff. I guess this is it, Hocd really did win, I think it wouldve happened regardless of ocd or not

Imaan7

Date posted: 3y

It just feels like I want to go out and find a relationship with a guy and do all the romantic things. It just all feels normal now. Its literally not Hocd anymore, I just wish I didnt have anxiety and depression and had my normal thinking back and didnt feel like I was a woman inside.

Brave through

Date posted: 3y

Idk i too think of stuff and the same sex thoughts feel so real especially the bi ones where you see a guy and notice and also a girl and you’re like i noticed them the same way what does that mean and honestly that could mean so many things so idk what to even do or think of what if it means something i am not accepting what if i am stopping and not taking actions on my thoughts cause i am scared cause half of the time i think of that and usually ig people don’t which makes me think there’s is ocd and mine is denial like am i forcefully stopping myself from doing it do i want to do it will i enjoy it if i do then what does that say?!? Like what next all this was a lie?!? Is this ocd making me think this way or what?!?and just considering the possibility when people hate it what does that say what does that mean and why does it feel fake while writing all this whereas it should feel like a relive what do i do?

Imaan7

Date posted: 3y

@Brave through I dont have hocd, I did at one point. You have Hocd textbook hocd, sooner you deal with it the better, stop rumination is the biggest thing you can do to help yourself, once you do the questions and thoughts will become irrelevant.

Brave through

Date posted: 3y

I genuinely don’t know what to say or how to say this without triggering you i am no expert in any case and I don’t even know why i am telling you this or giving advice cause i too am not better that you but imagining life with a guy and romantising according to some people and what i have read could be that one is in denial but on the other hand it could also be ocd making you feel thing that aren’t real and confusing you cause if you liked girls in the past it shouldn’t change suddenly is what i have heard from people as vice versa for me which i sometimes think people sexuality can change too so idk and some people come out at the age of 70 or after marriage what then like what now if i think about it then it feels like I don’t even know myself and i feel like if i feel so somewhere it must be true and then one thought that also troubles me is the people who actually do come out how different could their thoughts be from ours and if they are similar which they could be what does that mean for us?! Not accepting the truth … idk i am just tired

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