- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I think that is the thing. I was very very happy in my relationship before all this started and generally happy in myself. It’s only when this flared up that I started to question it all. But even now as I say this my brain is thinking actuallt was my mental health good? I don’t even know anymore
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi Brad, I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I’m experiencing something very similar and it really is nothing short of hellish. You’re not alone. Everything you’re describing sounds very typical of HOCD or SOOCD. Including the fear of being in denial. I’ve experienced all the things you’re describing and it has and continues to be the hardest thing I’ve ever lived through. I try to remind myself that this feeling will nor last forever. I’m hopeful that therapy and treatment can help. I’m wishing the best for you and know that you’re not alone. The fact that you are having these fears and doubts doesn’t make them true. It means that you have a treatable illness and these are very typical symptoms regardless of how they ‘feel’ in the moment. You can get through this.
- Date posted
- 3y
There’s times when I’m with my partner and I get this sense of calm and attraction. And almost as if I’ve been cured and I can carry on with the way things were. And then I ruminate and get triggered and I fall back into this depressive anxious state I’m in now.
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD And in these calm states. I feel so good and optimistic. And then when I look back on them it just seems like denial or something similar
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD I experience the exact same thing. My therapist said to look at those moments of peace as progress
- Date posted
- 3y
@iggy_c Okay that does make sense, and is also helpful thank you
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve experienced all of that too. Feeling the doubt coming back is just devastating. When I’m in the depths of OCD it’s pretty clear to me that my mental health isn’t doing well. I try to remember that the only things I should be taking seriously, are what I know of myself when I am mentally well. When I’m deep in an OCD episode my mind, quite frankly, can’t be trusted. Not that it’s that easy.
- Date posted
- 3y
This article might be helpful as well, to help you recognize these thoughts for what they are. https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/unwanted-intrusive-thoughts
- Date posted
- 3y
I get that a lot too. I had my initial attack of OCD when I was a teen, then being diagnosed was enough to give me peace of mind and confidence in myself and who I am. I had almost 20 years OCD free with multiple fulfilling and happy relationships. But now with all the stress of COVID it is like my resilience is down and my OCD has come roaring back in spite of all those years I had that showed who I truly am. OCD doesn’t care about the truth. It will try cast doubt on anything and everything, including throwing the past into a different light.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.
- Date posted
- 22w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
- Date posted
- 18w
I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond