I’m at the hospital in Nashville I have contamination ocd but wit items that aren’t dirty like my deodorant can’t touch my qtips and anything else cause then I think the deodorants on the item it touched I also feel this way bout laundry detergent so when I wash my clothes at the laundry mat I have to wash my hands when I open the doors cause other ppl there touch there laundry detergent bottle then touch the handle so I think the laundry detergent is on the handle I have to by a new laundry bag everytime cause it’s clean I have to hold it wit 1 hand then take mt clothes out witout them touching anything then take them home wash my hands open the bag wash my hands again then open my individual clothes bags I have cause I can’t use a dresser and hang up clothes they have to be in something that closes and carefully put mt clothes in the bags witout them touching anything I also have a plastic tote bag for my dirty clothes I keep mt deodorant qtips and face pads on a shelf none can touch eachother and I need to use all 3 of those during my dressing rituals and when I put on deodorant clean my ears and clean my face put on makeup wash my hair and body it’s all done a certain way like top to bottom left to rite counting them all in like a grid in my mind and when I wash my hair I have to put my hair products in none can touch them I brush it and blow dry it and have to put my hair up even if I straighten it I have to put it up first then take it down to straighten it I always have to wash my hands when I touch any kind of container my ocd makes me think is contaminated but not in a dirt and germs way I can’t use certain products like serums under eye patches dark circle stuff I can’t use certain brands of stuff I can’t wear certain colors I can’t txt certain words I have to take 2 pictures of something and watch the video twice to send it I can’t do alot on social media I can’t eat at certain restaurants my ocd makes me think I can’t do these things some are cause something happened and it makes me think those things will happen if I do some of these things my ocd makes me scared of i wear my bras in order I wear my clothes a certain way I can’t wear certain clothes together I get nervous when positive things happen in my life I always feel like I don’t deserve it and it makes it hard for me to enjoy these positive things that happen I’ve been on ssi for awhile now I’m 29 I have 4 kids that my mom has to take care of cause I left my husband and couldn’t do it by myself and my ocd is to debilitating to even be able to take care of them it’s been extremely hard I’ve told ppl I’m miserable that I have ocd and they just can’t seem to help cause I appear normal I need help and I just hope someone can speak up for me and get me into an ocd residential facility I need an ocd therapist I need to get better I want to live a better life get help shortening rituals to were there completely gone atleast almost non existent help me to be able to keep containers together be able to just pack a bag and leave my hygiene stuff out not have to clean everything off and leave them in a clean space I’m desperate.