Really struggling at the moment with sexuality OCD, getting to the point where I’m constantly on the verge of tears, I’m avoiding watching movies, Netflix series, scrolling through Instagram and tiktok. I’m 18 and everyone around me seems to be bi, but I’m so scared I’m not attracted to guys anymore. I want children and I have always wanted to be with a guy, now I can barely look at anyone and I can’t even think about being in a relationship. My brain is like ‘your lying to yourself’ ‘what if your gay’ etc. I can’t do anything anymore, I just want to hide and curl up. Anyone else feel like this.. I’m scared I’m in denial or something, I have never been formally diagnosed but I’ve had so many other themes, I’m scared it’s not ocd and I’m using it as an excuse.. I just want to go back to normal

I seriously have never thought about girls until now. It just never crossed my mind. I never liked or had feelings for a girl. And now that I’m constantly questioning everything and picturing everything. It just feels like I like it. It scares me, would I be happy with a girl ?? I don’t want to be with a girl but I feels like I do want this. It’s so confusing. I can’t tell whether this is actually ocd or I’m genuinely attracted to the same sex. I hate this so much !!! It’s like I just completely lost myself and questioned it so much I’ve just become lesbian but some things just don’t make sense. Why would I catch feelings for other boys? Never girls. I don’t know anymore. I’m happy with my boyfriend. Without these thoughts I’d be so good and so much more happy. Now I just don’t fucking know and this hurts so damn bad that I can’t just rest not one day. This is so damn stressful and hurtful to question your identity every single day. Sometimes I seriously just feel like I’m lesbian but I can’t seem to settle on that because I just can’t be. I want to just die. I hate what my mind is doing to me. I hate I have to go through these thoughts alone. I hate everything. I just want to crawl in a hole and never see anyone. I just want to hug my boyfriend and have my thoughts erased. I’ve thought too much and too deep I can’t stop. I’m crying from sadness because I don’t know what’s real anymore and I never in a million years thought this is something I’d have to deal with.

Hi just for reference, I’m a girl, I’m almost 17 and I’ve been boy crazy for pretty much all my life. I- I don’t even know what to think anymore, I identify as straight and enjoy thinking about men sexually and emotionally, but I can also masterbate to women weirdly enough? I’ve been diagnosed with pure ocd and I have no desire to have any sexual or emotional relationships with women in real life, and I’ve had hocd for over a year now, but I can masterbate to weird things sometimes and I know I’m not supposed to but I compulsively search things up very often and from what I’ve found most people would say that it would mean that I’m bi. The idea of being bi or gay has made me hyperventilate and cry god knows how many times, at this point I wouldn’t even be angry if I was bi or gay but I know that I’m not. My head keeps telling me that since I can masterbate to gay thoughts or lesbian thoughts sometimes that it means that I’m not straight even though I have no desire to do anything even remotely close to that in real life. This is one of my worst themes of ocd so far as compared to other people who have hocd they don’t get turned on or finish thinking about these things and I do but I don’t identify as bi or gay. I just, I don’t know what to do anymore? I was hoping someone on here goes through the same thing? And I’d really rather not hear that it’s just me denying it, I have a few people I talk to and occasionally when I bring it up they just say I’m in denial so I really don’t know what to do anymore.

Hi, just wanted to post to see if someone can relate or can help me. I’ve had intrusive thoughts about my sexuality here and there, ever since I can remember. But I was always able to move on from the thoughs as I knew deep down they didn’t align with my values. I’ve recently moved to another country to travel with my long term boyfriend and on the first day here I had an intrusive thought that I couldn’t brush off which triggered my first ever ocd episode. Since then I have convinced myself that I must be bi. I’ve gone through past interactions with women and my brain has changed them into reasons to support being bi. I’ve also thought that because clips of girls in couples came up on my tiktok it must mean the algorithim makes me like these videos. I’ve also remebered times in the past where I’ve been worried about being gay so have done an online sexuality test that came out as me being bi … and at the time that gave me relief because it meant I could still be with my boyfriend and I moved on from the intrusive though. But now I’m thinking back on this and freeking out because I don’t actually consider myself bi. Can anyone else relate to this? I’m having the worst time travelling at the moment because of all of this. It’s as if I don’t know who I am anymore. And because of all this it’s actually made me develop Rocd and made me think horrible things about my relationship with my boyfriend who is my absolute rock and best person in my life and who I want to be with forever. Thanks in advance if anyone can help me with this. Posting this is also making me very anxious as I’m scared of the responses I might have.😭