I had this thing happen to me last night and posted about it but got no replies im just gonna post it again, if anyone is willing to see and talk to me about it pls Its currently 5 am, I was going through a bad anxiety attack, went to the bathroom to get cleaned up and get ready for morning prayers, anyways I started googling about my previous experiences (pre ocd) that caused me anxiety back then and the memories that are serving as proof that I am these thoughts. Quick 20 mins of search and reading into different things about why I felt what I felt, I had bit of a clarity, just a sliver of it , something i havent felt in almost 12-14 months and I felt like I am not trans, I am a man and my anxiety dissipated when I came out of the bathroom. I felt so light and this boost of energy for a few seconds and I was getting these future visions of good things happening. I just got done with my prayers and laid in my bed to type this post, it went away, that feeling, Im doubting it really bad again and think that was just a mistake and getting confusions and proof in my head again and I know I actually im trans, smh. I might actually call the therapist tommorow, I dont feel like doing it bc I think I am these thoughts but Im going to call him regardless bc its kind of ridiculous to think that I went 20 plus years liking only the opposite sex and never doubting my gender. Even though the proof that I got it all wrong makes complete sense to me in my head, I think I will give him a call. Ahh and as I finish writing this, the shitty feelings are back again. Sorry this turned out be a long post, fuck, now i think this whole post was a mistake, Im going to post it regardless before I delete it. Fuck