Being a priority always meant being loved for me. It's my way to express feelings too. But not for my bf! He always want space, and doing things alone. This makes me doubt a lot if he loves me or not. But than I realised it is his decision: if he doesn't love me he will leave me,( I can't leave because he doesn't love me, it wouldn't have sense!) But he doesn't make me a priority and doesn't leave me. He loves me without making me a priority. I'm confuse. A lot. Should be like that in couples? You shouldn't be always a priority for the other?

chattachana

Date posted: 3y

I'm someone that needs a lot of space within the relationship and I still love my boyfriend. I get easily overwhelmed by thing and prefer doing things alone. Obviously I love passing time with him, but he knows I need some time out sometimes. Those are called boundaries. You should talk about boundaries with your boyfriend. This is most likely a communication issue. There's not "Shoulds" or "shouldn't" in relationships, you find out what works best for you two.

Saraa

Date posted: 3y

Thank you!! Your words are really precious. 💖 I have to admit that I struggle a lot with thoose.. if you have some advices, to makes me accepting the "distances" that he takes, I would love it! For example, if you don't show your love with this, how do you show it? I know it sounds like a really stupid question; but I would really appreciate being able to feel loved even if I'm not a priority... maby I'm searching in the wrong "place"! We usually communicate really well; but when talking about feelings he puts up a wall; he try to avoid discussion so it is even harder for me😅

chattachana

Date posted: 3y

@Saraa I remind him in the little things that I am grateful for him all the time. By telling him verbally or with acts of service. I make his coffee, massage his hands, cook meals for him and all that. I live with him so inherently I'm always with him, but I like to isolate sometimes. When I know I need space I tell him directly. He knows this isn't about him, and I think he loves that I feel comfortable enough to be genuine and tell the truth about it, but sometimes I do feel bad because he, just like you, needs a lot more attention. It's really hard for me to give someone constant priority! But I am here for my boyfriend and the effort of being here is a lot of love as well.

Saraa

Date posted: 3y

@trying my fkn best You are right. Thank you so much again💖 Your bf is lucky to have you!!

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Have you and your bf done the test to find out which love lenguaje suits you two? Im more of a acts of services and gifts and my bf is quality time and acts of service It’s so hard for me embrace myself and the fact that I like to be alone being with someone who needs constant time with me, but he knows me well, he gives me space, time and a lot of love and patience. I just found out about this platform yesterday and it’s been already helpful

Saraa

Date posted: 3y

I did! And mine is quality time! The problem with him is that if we talk about feelings, or about us, he became really rigid and closed... like if he puts up a wall! And for me is impossible to understand what he thinks!😅 Thank you for your answer! From your prospective, can I do/tell something to making him understanding better what I want... or to me, some advices to not being hurt by his "avoidant" behaviours! It's really a roallercoaster sometimes!

Anonymous help

Date posted: 3y

Im having to learn how to give him space especially with my ROCD. I really wanna see him but its a crutch and he wants his own space. Usually men r like that

Saraa

Date posted: 3y

Mm I get it. But sometimes I get so mad, because we decided to do things togheter, and he does them alone by himself! Or maby he has to study, I give him a lot of space, but then in his free time/breaks he want to stay alone too! Yesterday he didn't find a minute for calling me, (even if I asked him, he text me back tho) and that make me feels so unspecial!! How do you deal when things like this happens? How can you sit with thoose feelings?

Bookworm91

Date posted: 3y

You should be a priority however every single human being needs personal time.

Mariabae

Date posted: 23w

I Feel Like a Liar Who Can’t Accept the Truth

Hi everyone, I’ve been struggling a lot with my thoughts and feelings about my boyfriend. He’s an amazing person—kind, loving, and supportive—but I constantly feel like I’m faking everything. It’s like I’m a liar pretending to love him, and deep down, I don’t actually want to be with him. Whenever he tells me he loves me or shows affection, I feel guilty because I think, What if I don’t love him back? It feels so real, like the truth is staring me in the face and I’m just refusing to accept it. I keep asking myself: Am I just staying with him because I’m used to him? What if I’ve never truly loved him? What if I’m a bad person for stringing him along? I don’t feel anything when we kiss or when he’s sweet to me, and that terrifies me. Sometimes I even feel irritated by him or like I don’t want to be around him, and then the guilt becomes unbearable because I know he doesn’t deserve that. This constant analyzing is taking over my life. I can’t even tell what’s real anymore. Am I lying to myself because I’m scared to face the truth? Or is this just my anxiety distorting everything? I feel like such a horrible person for even having these thoughts. If anyone has felt like this, please let me know how you managed to deal with it. I’m exhausted and just want to feel like myself again. he is also at my house amd i feel numb he tries to make me understand that i do like him and i feel so bad.

anonymous_an...

Date posted: 23w

Questioning is it normal?

Sometimes I get really upset with my boyfriend and I can’t tell if I’m not having my needs met or if it’s my ROCD questioning things. I can’t express that I’m upset because he rlly doesn’t understand what is going on in my head and most times I bring it up it’s turned into an argument. It is really frustrating does anyone have any tips on deciphering this stuff or dealing with the upset feeling/ bad thoughts (IE: “He’s cheating on me and that’s why he’s not texting.”) (IE: “He’s talking like this because he just doesn’t love me, and he’s not attracted to me. He clearly wants to leave me but doesn’t have the heart to do it yet”)

Mariabae

Date posted: 21w

i feel bad for my boyfriend

He loves me and complimenta me and saya beautiful things and does many things for me, he says he loves me and he is there for me, but me.. i cant even say i love you without doubting, i am doubting my feelings my atractuon for him, everything, i feel so bad, i dont want to be like this, i hate myself . He is precious and genuine and im scared im not, i have moments when i am happy … but rn i am sad. I saw him today. i dont know what i felt but as im writing this i feel guilt amd fear. Scared that i may be pretending. I want to be happy, what if im not happy with him.. it cant be.

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