- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm someone that needs a lot of space within the relationship and I still love my boyfriend. I get easily overwhelmed by thing and prefer doing things alone. Obviously I love passing time with him, but he knows I need some time out sometimes. Those are called boundaries. You should talk about boundaries with your boyfriend. This is most likely a communication issue. There's not "Shoulds" or "shouldn't" in relationships, you find out what works best for you two.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you!! Your words are really precious. š I have to admit that I struggle a lot with thoose.. if you have some advices, to makes me accepting the "distances" that he takes, I would love it! For example, if you don't show your love with this, how do you show it? I know it sounds like a really stupid question; but I would really appreciate being able to feel loved even if I'm not a priority... maby I'm searching in the wrong "place"! We usually communicate really well; but when talking about feelings he puts up a wall; he try to avoid discussion so it is even harder for meš
- Date posted
- 3y
@Saraa I remind him in the little things that I am grateful for him all the time. By telling him verbally or with acts of service. I make his coffee, massage his hands, cook meals for him and all that. I live with him so inherently I'm always with him, but I like to isolate sometimes. When I know I need space I tell him directly. He knows this isn't about him, and I think he loves that I feel comfortable enough to be genuine and tell the truth about it, but sometimes I do feel bad because he, just like you, needs a lot more attention. It's really hard for me to give someone constant priority! But I am here for my boyfriend and the effort of being here is a lot of love as well.
- Date posted
- 3y
@trying my fkn best You are right. Thank you so much againš Your bf is lucky to have you!!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Have you and your bf done the test to find out which love lenguaje suits you two? Im more of a acts of services and gifts and my bf is quality time and acts of service Itās so hard for me embrace myself and the fact that I like to be alone being with someone who needs constant time with me, but he knows me well, he gives me space, time and a lot of love and patience. I just found out about this platform yesterday and itās been already helpful
- Date posted
- 3y
I did! And mine is quality time! The problem with him is that if we talk about feelings, or about us, he became really rigid and closed... like if he puts up a wall! And for me is impossible to understand what he thinks!š Thank you for your answer! From your prospective, can I do/tell something to making him understanding better what I want... or to me, some advices to not being hurt by his "avoidant" behaviours! It's really a roallercoaster sometimes!
- Date posted
- 3y
Im having to learn how to give him space especially with my ROCD. I really wanna see him but its a crutch and he wants his own space. Usually men r like that
- Date posted
- 3y
Mm I get it. But sometimes I get so mad, because we decided to do things togheter, and he does them alone by himself! Or maby he has to study, I give him a lot of space, but then in his free time/breaks he want to stay alone too! Yesterday he didn't find a minute for calling me, (even if I asked him, he text me back tho) and that make me feels so unspecial!! How do you deal when things like this happens? How can you sit with thoose feelings?
- Date posted
- 3y
You should be a priority however every single human being needs personal time.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Hi everyone, Iāve been struggling a lot with my thoughts and feelings about my boyfriend. Heās an amazing personākind, loving, and supportiveābut I constantly feel like Iām faking everything. Itās like Iām a liar pretending to love him, and deep down, I donāt actually want to be with him. Whenever he tells me he loves me or shows affection, I feel guilty because I think, What if I donāt love him back? It feels so real, like the truth is staring me in the face and Iām just refusing to accept it. I keep asking myself: Am I just staying with him because Iām used to him? What if Iāve never truly loved him? What if Iām a bad person for stringing him along? I donāt feel anything when we kiss or when heās sweet to me, and that terrifies me. Sometimes I even feel irritated by him or like I donāt want to be around him, and then the guilt becomes unbearable because I know he doesnāt deserve that. This constant analyzing is taking over my life. I canāt even tell whatās real anymore. Am I lying to myself because Iām scared to face the truth? Or is this just my anxiety distorting everything? I feel like such a horrible person for even having these thoughts. If anyone has felt like this, please let me know how you managed to deal with it. Iām exhausted and just want to feel like myself again. he is also at my house amd i feel numb he tries to make me understand that i do like him and i feel so bad.
- Date posted
- 23w
Sometimes I get really upset with my boyfriend and I canāt tell if Iām not having my needs met or if itās my ROCD questioning things. I canāt express that Iām upset because he rlly doesnāt understand what is going on in my head and most times I bring it up itās turned into an argument. It is really frustrating does anyone have any tips on deciphering this stuff or dealing with the upset feeling/ bad thoughts (IE: āHeās cheating on me and thatās why heās not texting.ā) (IE: āHeās talking like this because he just doesnāt love me, and heās not attracted to me. He clearly wants to leave me but doesnāt have the heart to do it yetā)
- Date posted
- 21w
He loves me and complimenta me and saya beautiful things and does many things for me, he says he loves me and he is there for me, but me.. i cant even say i love you without doubting, i am doubting my feelings my atractuon for him, everything, i feel so bad, i dont want to be like this, i hate myself . He is precious and genuine and im scared im not, i have moments when i am happy ⦠but rn i am sad. I saw him today. i dont know what i felt but as im writing this i feel guilt amd fear. Scared that i may be pretending. I want to be happy, what if im not happy with him.. it cant be.
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