- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm someone that needs a lot of space within the relationship and I still love my boyfriend. I get easily overwhelmed by thing and prefer doing things alone. Obviously I love passing time with him, but he knows I need some time out sometimes. Those are called boundaries. You should talk about boundaries with your boyfriend. This is most likely a communication issue. There's not "Shoulds" or "shouldn't" in relationships, you find out what works best for you two.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you!! Your words are really precious. š I have to admit that I struggle a lot with thoose.. if you have some advices, to makes me accepting the "distances" that he takes, I would love it! For example, if you don't show your love with this, how do you show it? I know it sounds like a really stupid question; but I would really appreciate being able to feel loved even if I'm not a priority... maby I'm searching in the wrong "place"! We usually communicate really well; but when talking about feelings he puts up a wall; he try to avoid discussion so it is even harder for meš
- Date posted
- 3y
@Saraa I remind him in the little things that I am grateful for him all the time. By telling him verbally or with acts of service. I make his coffee, massage his hands, cook meals for him and all that. I live with him so inherently I'm always with him, but I like to isolate sometimes. When I know I need space I tell him directly. He knows this isn't about him, and I think he loves that I feel comfortable enough to be genuine and tell the truth about it, but sometimes I do feel bad because he, just like you, needs a lot more attention. It's really hard for me to give someone constant priority! But I am here for my boyfriend and the effort of being here is a lot of love as well.
- Date posted
- 3y
@trying my fkn best You are right. Thank you so much againš Your bf is lucky to have you!!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Have you and your bf done the test to find out which love lenguaje suits you two? Im more of a acts of services and gifts and my bf is quality time and acts of service Itās so hard for me embrace myself and the fact that I like to be alone being with someone who needs constant time with me, but he knows me well, he gives me space, time and a lot of love and patience. I just found out about this platform yesterday and itās been already helpful
- Date posted
- 3y
I did! And mine is quality time! The problem with him is that if we talk about feelings, or about us, he became really rigid and closed... like if he puts up a wall! And for me is impossible to understand what he thinks!š Thank you for your answer! From your prospective, can I do/tell something to making him understanding better what I want... or to me, some advices to not being hurt by his "avoidant" behaviours! It's really a roallercoaster sometimes!
- Date posted
- 3y
Im having to learn how to give him space especially with my ROCD. I really wanna see him but its a crutch and he wants his own space. Usually men r like that
- Date posted
- 3y
Mm I get it. But sometimes I get so mad, because we decided to do things togheter, and he does them alone by himself! Or maby he has to study, I give him a lot of space, but then in his free time/breaks he want to stay alone too! Yesterday he didn't find a minute for calling me, (even if I asked him, he text me back tho) and that make me feels so unspecial!! How do you deal when things like this happens? How can you sit with thoose feelings?
- Date posted
- 3y
You should be a priority however every single human being needs personal time.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I'm struggling really hard with relationship obsessions. Do I really love my partner? How can I know? Am I really just faking it? That kind of thing. It's making my life and relationship a lot harder than they need to be. I could use a few helpful coping mechanisms, trying to move away from less helpful ones like chasing reassurance.
- Date posted
- 21w
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; itās been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything Iām experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if Iād rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
- Date posted
- 17w
Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him⦠For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know itās common but itās annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately weāve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncleās dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD Iāll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesnāt help enough and if this continues Iāll have to leave⦠itās so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didnāt think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesnāt care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So itās almost like Iām looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? Itās a constant cycle for me and Iām truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost donāt let myself depend on othersā¦. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ
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