- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
This sounds exactly like me. I am currently away from my girlfriend for two weeks and it’s making it all seem very real. I can relate to literally everything you’ve said in your post. And it’s as if I do still find women attractive but just not in the same way anymore it’s like it’s purely sexual with no romance or maybe a little but not a lot. When I Think about it too much it feels like what was real in the moment is now a lie
- Date posted
- 3y
I remember few months ago my attraction was purely sexual aswell, I was compulsively checking out women but even that is gone, I fewl nothing anymore, like its blank and empty when I look at women. I feel everything for guys now
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 Literally since reading this I feel like I’m about to go my next step through the whole where I lose my attraction to women all together
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD I thought loss of attraction was scary but this is something else and you probably wont lose any of it, its hard to feel romantic connection when your brain is under stress and anxiety. I read your posts and they are clear cut hocd I dont know about me, I think im just gay which is why its completely gone.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 But do you not see that that in itself doesn’t make much sense. Your attraction can’t just go, if you always found women attractive then that just won’t disappear. Maybe you’re now realising your bi instead? Part of me feels like that’s what is happening to me. Which in all honesty I wouldn’t mind as much
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD I think my attraction was just a result of hetero conditioning, growing up where there was no homo exposure or anything, following what other guys were doing, chasing girls and thinking this is what I have to do too, not being given an option basically. If Im bi then Im more bi than straight which essentially just makes me gay. I used to take comfort in thinking ok ill take being bi any day that way I can atleast have some attraction for women but that didnt work either. Whatever I did feel for girls has switched to men and it feels stronger, more real, natural and easily achievable.
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD This is me. Like I don’t even mind being bi if it means I still like men and I can still be with my bf
- Date posted
- 3y
@Imaan7 You are not alone I promise. And i find comfort in knowing I’m not alone. I feel like the more thought we put into it the more real everything will get. I still feel like it’s out mint trying to trick us and since it causes so much anxiety our brain feels like we are in danger therefore focusing even more on those thoughts
- Date posted
- 3y
I do really want to help you and others on here. But things like that are just extremely too triggering for me to read.
- Date posted
- 3y
I am so sorry. But never forget you’re not alone and we got this. I feel like we are in a similar path and I just know we are going to get through this
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I am a 18 year old masc lesbian with a loving girlfriend for 1 year, and I have been lesbian for almost my whole life and I have never been attracted to men in any way. flash to my past, My ex girlfriend who used to identify as a lesbian had cheated on me with a man. Recently I saw this tiktok of this masc lesbian turn straight and my friends and girlfriend made jokes I am going to turn straight for my male best friend. My male best friend came over and he’s a great guy but I do not want him in any way. when him and i were hanging out my mind threw in a thought it was “What if i like him”, i came back home and i had the worst panic attack and i felt so sick, i cried and i cried. ever since that day I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts, i don’t want a man in any way, and i feel comfortable as a lesbian but these thoughts won’t stop and they become worse when i see people say being lesbian is a phase or that i haven’t met the right guy or i’ll change in the future. i just want these thoughts to stop, i don’t want to stop being a lesbian ever, i love women so much and i just want all of this to be over with. i do not want a man in any way and im tired of my thoughts doubting myself and i hate the “what ifs”, I just want to be my old self, I want to be happy with my girlfriend.
- Date posted
- 21w
I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad
- Relationship OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- Students with OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 19w
I am very depressed right now. I really feel like maybe I’ve always been a lesbian and never knew. I never questioned my sexuality when I was young, never wanted to explore, I just was straight and didn’t think anything about it, that’s just what it was. I had my first soocd spiral in late high school but didn’t have a name for it, just that I was having intrusive thoughts and it was killing me that maybe I was gay. I can’t exactly remember how I got out of that but I continued to have crushes, talking stages, and dated. It went away and that was that I guess. Looking back now I definitely was still avoiding content and certain people, and still had intrusive thoughts but didn’t think I was gay. I guess they were less sticky. Something about me is that I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’m a virgin. I’m very shy and romanticize things like I love the relationships and scenarios I read about or that I see in movies or the thirst traps online haha. So I want that irl but am disappointed when that doesn’t happen. I have a very interactive daydream (started when I was 13 and still continued that fantasy world now too) with a boyfriend, friends, and a prettier version of me. I enjoyed making up scenarios about sex or romance in those daydreams and fantasies, but when it came to real life, I would get shy or scared when things were starting to get serious with men. I thought maybe this was an avoidant attachment style but now I’m not sure. I never considered female fantasies and I still don’t want to right now. I want to test and see which one I like better, but I’m afraid I’ll find that I’m a lesbian and I really don’t want that. Ive always imagined myself with a man but now I’m worried about comphet. I’m really depressed and I can’t tell because yes, I find some women attractive whether it’s their makeup, face, body, aesthetic, but I never thought that meant I was attracted to them in a sexual or romantic way until this spiral. Now I’m afraid of masc lesbians and pretty women because it triggers me. But I’m also afraid because I feel like I can look at attractive men, but I don’t feel the same way anymore. I can’t even daydream about them bc then my brain inserts a woman. I’m really scared that I’ve lost myself, because I truly feel like I have, but I don’t want to explore with women, I just want to like men, I’ve always liked that idea. But so many lesbians talk about liking celebrities, fantasy men, or just attractive men. Sorry for the rant but I’m struggling a lot right now. I feel like all my memories, even the ones that directly contradict being a lesbian, can be explained away by comphet, internal homophobia, denial, suppression, etc. When I do try and accept uncertainty, sometimes it feels ok, but then something will trigger me and I’m back at square one. I’m afraid if I take my meds I’ll discover something about myself that I don’t want to because I’ve always been depressed and avoidant of life because it never lives up to my expectations. My sexuality is on my mind 24/7! I can’t take it!
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