I'm scared I am gay or bi because 4 or 5 years ago I did something with a friend of mine. I feel like being told it was just experimenting doesn't help at all and I need to know if anyone else has ever done something like this and has good.

Same but now because of ocd it feels like i wanted to do but then cause i was scared I didn’t and all this while i have been lying to myself cause I enjoyed myself back then or whatever ?!?!and I always put this whatever or question marks cause i am scared to believe what if i did enjoy then what ?!? Is ocd trying to convince me of something!? Does all this meam something i was too little to even remember anything?!?

@Brave through I went throughout my whole life being semi-proud of it. Because it made me who I was and I was comfortable with who I was because I never had any thoughts about being attracted to men. Just a friendship bond. But then when I couldn't achieve an erection with my lovely girlfriend, it sent me down a spiral

@Sparker1289 I have a question if yoy don’t mind answering could use some advice .. i was watching a video right now of this girl who quite pretty and has a bf but like out of all of the girls I would notice her more and I don't even think this sounds okay coming from a straight woman but its like i notice her and then have thoughts like oh she's pretty why does she have a bf?!? Like why would i get that thought and also like out all of the videos i saw hers only and then thought she is like pretty to date and like that felt too real and normal like I would say about a guy and like had thoughts like oh can't date her she has a bf and these thoughts we're not feeling intrusive like what does that mean? And if i am getting these thoughts i should panic and close the video as a compulsion if its ocd but I didn't and continued to watch it and i feel like writing this post too is just a forced compulsion cause i scared or whatever and why do i sometimes start agreeing to ocd or defending my denial and not ocd like I believe its denial more than ocd when i should be screaming and saying no its ocd and not denial and the thoughts that i had just felt so natural like I don't know if they are real or not?!? Like where am i supposed to go from here and what can i do?!? And thoughts like dating her just seem non ocd cause ocd is as i have heard not imagining or fanaticising emotional things and this did feel something dk what but something and soocd is usually sexual intrusive thoughts w/o emotions so what were mine is this even ocd?!?

@Brave through I honestly don't know... I am nowhere close to a professional in what any of this means. I am currently dealing with my own SOOCD/Denial dilemma. I personally don't mind finding people on YouTube or internet attractive. "Oh, he's attractive." It's when it happens to me in real life that it bothers me. I hate the fact that I tend to notice men more now than I notice women. My attraction towards women feels forced where as my possible attraction towards a male seems natural. It's really difficult to make sense of

@Sparker1289 Same i am exhausted and tired too of feeling the similar way and idk what to do usually I don’t notice the same sex at all when i am out but if sometimes i do as I notice the opposite sex my brain tells me and my confused heart and emotions too that you noticed her the same way you did him and there’s no difference lime whats the difference line that mean you’re bi and just in denial cause it’s difficult to tell as you noticed them the similar way… like what and where is the difference and this feels so real to deny like i don’t know then what to even do…