My daughter and I used to be very close. She is 27 and around the beginning of Covid she started treating me different. Acting different, almost like she is embarrassed of me or better than me. Annoyed by me. She is often judgmental and hurts my feelings. She can be very cruel. I’ve tried repeatedly to find out what’s wrong. She tells me
She doesn’t know what I am talking about. When I feel really anxious, this fixation is sometimes all I think about. I run things over in my head to see what I could have done. Sometimes I don’t sleep and have trouble focusing. I think
things like she has stopped loving me or she likes her Dad and his family better. I send her texts and she may reply to 1 or 2 of them. I read books and articles on how to deal with the rejection. I haven’t tried to get reassurance and I will do that for a bit but it doesn’t usually last.
My point is, I’ve been obsessing and ruminating about it. I cry a lot. I feel angry. Sometimes I just can’t stop trying to figure it out while also thinking it’s these kinds of things that probably drive her away. I feel ashamed. Sometimes I get so worried I am just going to disappear and no one will notice. I can’t actually believe I am putting this in writing. When I have said these things to people in the past they start to look at me different. I feel like I am misunderstood as if I am attention seeking. I’m
not tho. I have to see if anyone else struggles with similar “relational” anxieties and what they did to alleviate the pain and discomfort. I want to stop this. I hate being this way.