Don’t worry, I’ve had very much the same experience. I think it’s because I used to use guilt as a method of reassurance. Always remember that OCD is like a professional WWE wrestler going up against an EVE online player when it comes to bare specifics, so don’t play the game. Ask me for some resources on compulsive rumination if you want help with this.
HOCD EXPLICIT I was "m" wording to a video and I was only doing it to the girl in the video showed up and she was thinking about a dude and when his image showed up, I stoped"m" wording after a second of the dude showing up because I don't ever wanna "m" word to a dude and it's giving me intrusive thoughts of me wanting and actually did it when I dont ever want it at all... I don’t ever wanna “m” word to a dude at all... 😭😭😭
The goal is to not be bothered and let them pass. You're not supposed to feel guilty or bad for thoughts, yes they can be upsetting a lot of the time but you cannot control your thoughts so they're meaningless. They don't require attention.