It’s like I could have written this myself. When my HOCD first started I was in a relationship (long distance too) and looking at pictures of my boyfriend gave me extreme anxiety. This probably counts as reassurance but I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.
I’m having this compulsive urge to come out now? What does this mean, it’s like as soon as I know what I want and I have it it switches the other way round. It’s like I’m never satisfied
I’ve had that too. are you in therapy and have you tried any ERP? And it’s not you, your OCD is never satisfied, you’re right.
It feels so real! Like it feels like I’m annoyed that I don’t find the same sex attractive now? Surely this is just pure denial like if this was HOCD then I would be happy about it. I was happy about it and then something just exploded in my head
And I was in therapy but I got too scared because each session I just felt more and more gay (I know that sounds silly). I don't know what to do anymore.
@BradOCD I understand. I don’t want to give you reassurance, and even if I did, OCD would find a way to discredit that too. What about medication? I started mine back up and although it didn’t take away my theme, it made the physical sensation of anxiety decrease and the intrusive thoughts feel like they’re a bit muted if that makes sense. I’m so sorry you’re struggling, but you’re not alone.