- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
OCD causes us to doubt everything to it’s core, and causes such extreme (real-feeling) urges. Take a deep breath. You can make it through this.
- Date posted
- 3y
Does it always have to feel like an urge tho, oh god actually thinking about it… it does feel like an urge?!? But then as I say that I’ve had urged to kiss or hug my girlfriend, but tbey made me feel good and were nice. So we’re tbey just compulsive urges? Is my relationship just a set of compulsions with me liking the relief they give… oh god that feels like that’s what my whole life has been
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD Hey friend! Double check with somebody with more education than me but this is just my opinion! I’ll share this with you for the sake of helping you out a little bit, I have pedophillic obsessions OCD which is very similar to what you’re going through where you worry about confusing your intrusive thoughts and understandably intense feelings with “urges”. I absolutely am not attracted to children, the idea absolutely repulses me and just because these thoughts creep into my brain doesn’t mean that I put them there!! If you think about men and feel a NICE feeling? somewhat pleasant? Maybe butterflies and sweaty palms? Sure, give it a second thought. But it sounds like these thoughts do not give you any pleasure only distress, which to me is the difference between an urge and an intrusive thought. For example to me obsessing over the nature of pedophilia obviously gives me ZERO enjoyment, I just feel sick and anxious until I’m done thinking about it. I really hope this helps let me know if you have any questions
- Date posted
- 3y
@giaparmer When I try and think about what you suggested “men” in this case. I feel like what repulses me if the fact that it feels like I like or enjoy it? Which for me must be denial. When I first had the intrusive thoughts I felt absolutely disgusted and horrified by them. And when I have them now I try and get rid of them because I feel uncomfortable but it also feels like I might like them.
- Date posted
- 3y
@BradOCD Totally understandable, it sounds like those thoughts cause you a lot of distress! remind yourself that just because thoughts pop into your head doesn’t mean they’re legit. This was a really hard one for me to grasp but you can compartmentalize your conscious thoughts from all of your thoughts in your head and understand that some thoughts just come from a different place than your conscious mind.
- Date posted
- 3y
@giaparmer I just can’t think properly anymore. Everything makes me anxious, being gay, not being gay, leaving my partner, not leaving my partner it all just makes me feel crazy
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 13w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond