I hate how Rocd makes me not wanting to do anything...I just wake up and want to do things that require no thinking, just relaxing and do anything that will take me away from reality and literally forget myself. It's an like I live in a distance from reality and when it comes to tasks that take action and being jn the moment i get really anxious and I want to stop and go back to doing nothing. This thing kills me as I feel worthless, lazy and so guilty that I don't function like every other people. I don't want to live like that in a constant defence mode, away from reality and locked in my compulsions and extreme anxiety....I am fed up with it...

I know that you can conquer the ocd, stay strong It doesn't define who you are :)

I struggle with the same cycle!! Staying on my phone for 10 hours a day so that I can zone out from reality but then having an intense anxiety cycle of being a worthless POS when I return to reality. What helps me right now is placing a hand over my heart and saying out loud to myself “this is really difficult I am really struggling right now with my sense of self image and struggling not to give into my compulsions. I will be kind to myself and respect myself, I have good intentions in my heart and I am allowed to make a mistake”

Thank you for your response! I do try to be kind in a way to myself and patient but some days I just hate me so much and judge my behaviour as I really don't want to do the simplest thing. It feels so weird why I have no energy to act and contribute? Why Ocd makes us stay inactive, numb and alone??? Why every meeting with reality feels so anxious and cold?

@zoed Yes I definitely hear you loud and clear. I was finally able to remove a large stressor from my life that allowed me to reframe some things in my OCD brain. I try to reframe responsibilities as opportunities and this helps me be less scared to do things. I don’t HAVE to get a job (or else who will pay the bills?? how will I eat?? What will I do??) I have the OPPORTUNITY to find a job I really enjoy and increase my monthly income! Small things like that can make a difference. And saying that mantra *out loud* really does wonders. God I hate saying “OCD is just a mindset!” But it honestly does help me not only cope but actually thrive to retrain my brain, and for depression same method but instead of switching anxiety with opportunity switch depression with gratitude. It truly is difficult to live an anxious and depressed life if you are constantly retraining your brain to view things through a lens of opportunity and gratitude instead. See the difference that can (maybe)make?