- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's really hard when your partner is not fully understanding the issue, especially with rocd. I showed the channel "Awaken into love" on youtube to my boyfriend and it really helped him. There's a video on how partners can help and understand rocd better. Maybe you can try by showing him this?
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes it would be a good idea but we are Greeks and he doesn't know the English language so i will have to translate everything which may be difficult...it feels so lonely to go through this and not being understood...i dont know what he understands...that I may want to be like this or i can change by myself??? He is totally unable to help me if he doesn't try to accept the full thing i go through...
- Date posted
- 3y
@zoed Ah very sorry about the language barrier... That must be even harder! I wish I could do more, but best would be that he learns in depth about ocd and especially rocd. That's really the only thing that would help.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes i have to find articles or videos in Greek! Thank you for your help!
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey im greek! Lol. With relationship ocd
- Date posted
- 3y
I do try to understand and thank him almost every day for accepting my situation but there are times when he is. Not careful with his words and he would say hurtful things. I know he doesn't really want to hurt me and maybe its because of his tiredness and sadness. I don't like to make excuses but it is a reality that suffering from a mental illness makes you feel horrible with yourself first and guilty for doing compulsions and say unkind words to your significant others. All I am saying is people with mental illness experience symptoms that they do not desire and suffer as they are locked in an endless negative loop. On the other hand the partner does suffer from this situation but if they have a good mental health they can, in a way, control some of their reactions and behaviour towards the other person. All we need when we suffer from Ocd is understanding, compassion and support. We don't want to be excused but fully accepted as we already feel so bad for ourselves. I would like him to be more careful with his words and reactions just because he already knows and sees I didn't choose to be this person and act like that.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I have had diagnosed OCD for a while now and I’ve been really struggling with my rocd. My bf and I have been dating for almost 2 years now and it has been great mostly. (I say mostly because of I’m being honest the bad parts are me causing issues due to my rocd) lately I’ve been struggling to trust him in that he will follow through with his word. This was triggered because we had a wedding and a brunch to go to (he doesn’t know the person getting married but was going just to go with me) and he ended up not being able to go due to finals and group projects he had to end up doing work for. This is a completely understandable and reasonable excuse not to be able to attend something, but my brain is now making me feel like he would do that to anything I need him for. And he literally doesn’t. Like we’re going out of town to see family this summer and I’m scared he’ll flake out. We’ve already gotten plane tickets and everything but my brain is like what if . Again it’s so stupid because he comes through almost all the time I invite him to something and when he can’t go it’s usually due to something pretty reasonable that he didn’t foresee. Like he comes to all my family holiday events, goes and runs errands and does things when I ask, comes over everyday to spend time with me. The only times he can’t come to my house is when he has no gas money. We’re both in college and his parents don’t really support him at all so he has to use all his money he makes working during the summer towards expenses and doesn’t often get to buy things for himself and when we are in our hometown, I go to his house more because my parents pay for everything and I help him save his money because he if doesn’t have any he is truly out of luck. Soem days he won’t even eat because he had to use his money on rent of something. But he still manages to go above and behind for me. Always includes me in things he loves to do, picks flowers for me anytime he sees one and buys them when he does have money, he always writes me notes and does sweet things that he knows will make me laugh. He is such a blessing, but of course my brain only focuses on the negative :( he’s so patient with my ocd but I do get tired of bugging him with it.
- Date posted
- 23w
My husband and I don’t argue too often but every time we do I always get worried that we are going to split. The issues that we have are not always big but not only has he given me trust issues he also just doesn’t listen. We will go in circles with our disagreements because he just doesn’t see the point and this turns into me getting fed up and freaking out. No matter how mad he makes me it is so hard for me to turn it off and stop being mad when I think about losing him and this creates an anxious attachment. I have started to become detached from our arguments and caring less each time. I don’t know what to do or think and because of our disagreements I get anxiety and always think that he hates me even when he’s being affectionate This is the disagreement we had today that is causing my flare up: I am originally from CA and moved to AZ when I had my baby. My husband doesn’t like being in California and that’s fine but I have to go to California to go get the babies birth certificate because he was born there. I told him 2 weeks ago that I have an opportunity to go because my cousins wanted to come visit and bring me back with them and my mom was going to drive me back to AZ because I wouldn’t have a car. I asked my husband if he wanted to go and I voiced that I would like him to go because I didn’t want to be stuck taking care of the baby by myself because he is a lot of work. He said he would go but he wouldn’t enjoy it. I said he didn’t have to go if he didn’t want to and insisted that he would go to help. Today my cousin asked me if we were going for sure and I asked my husband on the spot he was still sleeping. He got upset that I asked him that first thing when he woke up told me that he didn’t want to go and that he didn’t have a choice but to go. I told him if he didn’t have a choice I wouldn’t ask him. He said that if he didn’t go that I would be upset and therefore he doesn’t have a choice. I told him I would be upset and reassured him that I would go alone if he didn’t want to go. (Side note- I have trust issues because of something he did while I was pregnant and I don’t like to leave him alone but I would never say that out loud) We are going in circles at this point and I can’t help but have the ugly thoughts even tho this is our first argument in over a month. I don’t know what to do.
- Date posted
- 22w
I am at the point where I feel like I don’t even know myself anymore and have a really hard time explaining my thoughts and feelings. The thought that no one may ever be able to help me or understand me is blazing constant in my head. I don’t know if I will truly ever be happy, the dissatisfaction I have in my life is beyond words and I try to be happy but my mind is so toxic and ungrateful. I feel that I may never understand myself. Have been dealing with extreme intrusive thoughts in regards to my relationship, if my partner is for me, if I am the reason problems come up in my relationship, if I am overly sensitive causing arguments etc. I will have constant thoughts about other people in my head although I have a partner. A hyperactive imagination of others if you will or specific individuals in my life. I have a severely low sex drive. I have also noticed recently that my partner will say things that I don’t like but can’t tell if he’s the problem or if i’m the problem. If I like my partner anymore or if I don’t, can I see him in my future or not. When I am with him I enjoy being with him but there is always a thought in the back of my head of do I just like being around him as a friend because I am lonely or if I truly love them. It’s to the point where I question leaving them or not. My only issue is that I don’t want to leave but at the same time I have trouble feeling emotionally and sexually connected. I even pick at physical imperfections that they may have which to my true beliefs does not matter I will love them otherwise. We recently have been arguing a lot and I can’t tell if I am the problem or he is but it causes me a lot of stress because I feel misunderstood and feel like he wouldn’t understand me unless he was me. It can be hard explaining OCD to him because he is one of those people who loves to self help almost like a life coach, explains to me that anxiety doesn’t exist and that I can help myself or stuff along those lines. It hurts so bad because he doesn’t understand how hard it is for someone with OCD and how him saying things like that only makes it worse and makes me want to turn away from him in a way. I want to feel like I can talk to my partner and that I know for a fact is my true belief. I pray that God will heal me of this terrible disease. I feel I have turned away from the Lord so much because of how alone and misunderstood I feel with what feels like no change. When I’m in public I’ll look at a guy and feel as though because they looked at me back they will think I like them or that I may be interested even though i’m not. I obsess in my head sometimes about real people I know that are kit my partner and have just learned to accept that but it’s still disheartening to me. I understand the concept of being with a partner and still finding other people attractive without obviously doing anything about it and I try to remind myself of that. Please someone tell me this is OCD because the thought of it not is sickening. Another thing I do is compare myself to other girls my age almost that if i’m not as pretty as them im not pretty at all. To whom ever reads this please be very mindful of how you respond because I am triggered very easily. But I am so so lost.
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