My bf is avoidant, and he is scared to meet my friends even I he will never admit. I know this isn't properly rocd. But I need an advice from someone with rocd mentality anyway! In a year of us, he never meet them! At first because of quarantine, after that because I took distances from that group because my ex was there too, after that because... I don't know! Probabilmente because he is embarassed! (I shared after of rocd doubts with my bsf! So he think he has a bad reputation for my friends, I tried to change is mind, but nothing!!) I'm trying so hard to not creating doubts on this too. He always has been one that has no problem with new experience, but he doesn't want to meet my friends. I invited him tons of times, even for the new year! (His friends has covid, so he would be alone) and he prefer to stay alone than coming with me at my friends house (while he invited and I did 2 weeks holidays with his friends, that I never met before). He is not shy, and this is making me crazy. It is impossible to communicate with him, because every thing I said he take it as a fight. "This thing make me feel bad" Fight. "I would love if you meet my friends, they mean a lot to me, can you? = fighting" What can I do to make him at least tolerating the idea of meeting them? And most important to not take it personal? My ocd is starting to flaring up!

Saraa

137d ago

Even if*

Redyroo

137d ago

Again I see you are conflicted because your bf is not doing or being someone you want him to be. If you have asked and he doesn’t want to you can discuss with him his reasons for not wanting to meet them in a healthy and mature manner. No arguments need to happen with this conversation. If he doesn’t want to then you must respect his boundary and not push further to try change him. He is as he is as are you as you are. Non puoi cambiare questo uomo, capisci? si deve accettare lui come è nel questo momento. Nel presente.

Redyroo

137d ago

Maybe part of you wants him to meet your friends as that shows he loves you and take you serious?

Saraa

137d ago

Yes sure in a little part yes, and that's the part that is flaring up my rocd right now! (You know, the "he doesn't want to see your friends because he doesn't want nothing serious with you) But mostly because my friends means a lot to me, like him does!! And I would love being able to go out and have fun all togheter! I have to choose every time if going out with them or my bf, I would love to make him see how beautiful people my friends are!! The thing is that there are no reason! I asked a lot of time (for the motivation) and he said that there aren't! And for him, what you said is an argument. Like even the littlest thing that is about our feelings is an argument 🙄🙄

Redyroo

137d ago

Whenever I asked my bf to meet my friend he never wanted to. In my opinion I also found it weird because I wanted my partner ti be involved in ny life. Anyway, if he doesn’t want to I can’t force him. I either accept or find a man who’s more suited to me