- Username
- OCDwho?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Yep. This is super common and can send you spiraling. I’m married with two kids and these thoughts are the worst. Continue to lean into the struggle and sit with the uncomfortable thoughts. They suck, but it’s better than constantly freaking out. I’ve totally been there.
Yes! I’ve done tons of erp and went through NOCD’s program twice. It has really helped, I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately too where it feels like suppressing or a big realization when there isn’t much anxiety or panic right away or just feeling neutral. I’ve been almost feeling a bit more “numb” from being in this funk and it affects my relationship with my boyfriend and even how I feel towards him because as a whole I feel like I feel nothing which kicks off a bit of my rocd! I have a session with my therapist this upcoming Wednesday so it’s definitely something I’ll discuss with her but I feel what you’re going through!
Extremely similar experience with my gender identity OCD. I don't want to be a woman, but then I think about how I don't fit into some of the social stereotypes of how a man "ought" to behave and start compulsing and gathering "evidence." Then when I try to say "well I never felt like I wanted to be a woman when I was younger" my OCD spits back that I was often awkward and introspective and shy as a kid, which is "proof" that I was a trans girl uncomfortable presenting as a boy. It's really hard! ERP helps but I will admit I've been slacking off a bit over the holidays.
Same here. I’ve fallen into the rabbit hole of believing all the thoughts. Which sends me down a game of whack a mole where I try to disprove every single thought. It’s exhausting. I get anxious around my boyfriend because I start thinking about my anxieties even more.
Yes do you get groinals ?
Why do I feel doubtful like if I get intrusive thoughts it bothers me but when I say like my thoughts don’t defy me and I know I’m straight I get like a weird panic attack and feel doubtful even writing this makes me feel doubtful but I know what I am and I know what I want and know who I want to be with now I feel doubtful but I don’t like this feeling it makes me sad can anyone relate ???
My mind keeps jumping to conclusions that I’m in denial and i have to come out , crazy how a thought went from “what if I’m gay” to “what if I’ve always been” to “you’re bi” to “you’re gsy” to full on statements and conclusions, like coming out and being in denial , as homophobic as this sounds everytime i see something gay i get an ick im not disgusted, very slightly, i was never like this, now I’m contemplating if i ever even liked women when i know i have before. I have nothing against gay people but i just don’t wanna be gay , saying that makes me feel uneasy which makes me more confused. Idk what I’ve become at this point .Now I’m doubting every life decision I’ve taken and gosh i wish me and my ex lasted, i was happy, even when we fought i remember telling myself we’re gonna get through this we’ll be fine, here i am doubting everything, at the same time wishing me and her lasted, regretting how i treated her, then the ocd part uses the fact that i went soft a few times with her and lost all interest in women after the break up against me, and then its basically convincing me to say that i am gay, none of these adds up . My brain keeps showing me images of being with men and happy about it and i don’t want that, i don’t think i ever did, then it’s like oh movies and tv shows have influenced you to think you should be with women , and then I’m here like if that was the case I’d feel uncomfortable and feel out of place , I’ve never felt that, i felt good with women and all as long as she was clean didn’t smell ofc but yeah now I’m so fucking lost.
Feels like I’m gonna have this for as long as I’m dating my boyfriend…. Feels like I wouldn’t have this problem if we broke up and I would be “free”. It just is hard because I’ve had these thoughts everyday for the duration of our relationship and even some months before that. So I’m not sure how our relationship is supposed to feel tbh. The thing that scares me is I feel like I’ve never been fully aware of my sexuality. I mean in high school I used to be sure I think? But in college something changed with me and I felt unsure then. Now I just feel like I don’t even know. Anyone else has been struggling with this since they got with their boyfriend ?? Or has everyone been super sure of their sexuality beforehand and then these thoughts came?
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