Just venting: I was having a good day and my OCD makes me "feel" that I have been wanting to leave my gf for months. Telling me that I have felt this way for ages and that I AM going to do it. I then panic and think "oh no that's horrible I don't want to have these feelings. What if I break up with my girlfriend? I don't want to break her heart and it will break mine. I have a lot of issues due to all my OCD amongst other things but I love her and want to make things work" Then I realised... IT WAS OCD AS I HAD A "WHAT IF" It pisses me off that it can make you feel things you don't actually feel, just to start the cycle. It's like it sometimes partially or fully makes up a trigger and tells you it's real so it can give you "what ifs"

I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭

So I recently met this girl and honestly she is amazing. She’s beautiful and her personality is perfect. She lives only 15 min away from me and I feel blessed to have a chance to get to know her, we both feel the same. But here comes OCD to ruin it. My OCD has latched onto a friend of mine. He’s a pretty close friend and we talk often. He’s never really one to let out a laugh so I always like to hear him laugh and just be able to have a good time. Partially it’s because I just don’t want to think I’m annoying and unfunny, I’m pretty self concious about myself. OCD is turning this into some sort of scary what if I like him question. I don’t have romantic feelings for my friend and I don’t actually want to be with a man. I am a straight male and getting to know this girl has been a blessing. OCD makes me feel in denial and as if I’m lying to myself. I hate this. It feels awful, when I haven’t felt this way about a girl in a long time

I’ve been struggling with ocd for a while now and did therapy for like 2 or 3 months but stopped because it wasn’t helping. My main focus right now is my ROCD, I have a boyfriend but we’re on a break right now because I was convinced that I didn’t have feeling for him anymore and I told him that being in a relationship was challenging for me because my mental state has been truly awful. During the summer I didn’t want to talk to anyone or do anything and that included talking to my boyfriend. But also I was doubting our relationship more then ever. I kept thinking that we’re so different, I was thinking about all of the things that I don’t like about him and all of the things we disagree on. And came to the conclusion that I didn’t think I wanted to be with him. And we went on break so I could have space to really figure out what I wanted. Now I’m back at the school we both go to and I want to reach out, but idk if I only want to reach out because I’m back at school where I’ve only been with him here, or because I actually want to get back together. Now my ocd is making me think that maybe I never really loved him. Or that maybe I convinced myself that I didn’t want to be with him because we were long distance and I’ve been googling and asking chatgpt. And basically I don’t know how to distinguish between my real feelings and what’s my OCD. I’m just so confused about what I should do. (Also I feel like my feelings change like the weather and I’m never consistent)