Still dealing with the same thoughts about not doing a compulsion over a thought that I've engaged in.. I know that I don't have to do the compulsion it's a mental compulsion btw.. and I will not do the compulsion but still I feel like if I don't do the mental compulsion this thought will be with me the rest of my life.. which I know all of this my OCD. Has anyone ever dealt with this? If so...how did you get through it. Don't know if I should actually talk to a ocd therapist or not..

I know how you feel, I've been here too before. It was one of my main themes. I dealt with it by sitting with the possibility that the thought could be stuck in my head forever. It definitley produces a nagging feeling, but the longer u resist engaging, the less time itll take for u to dismiss the nagging feeling to do a compusions or ruminate. Doing OCD therapy definitley helped me determine what was an intrusive thought vs a mental compulsion. With meta OCD like this, thoughts can start to get convaluted and feel like an endless loop. Dont lose hope, you can get through this.