It’s been a month since I’ve started trying to find help for my ocd I’m on ssi and get Medicaid in Tennessee and there’s no help for ocd here in Tennessee and no help that accepts me insurance I recently moved into a really nice 1 bedroom apartment but pest control came and sprayed majority of the carpet wit bug spray and I haven’t had a clear thought since that happened I can barely move the apartment was so clean and nice I hadn’t lived in a nice place in along time cause I don’t make much money and all the places I can afford are always dirty and bug infested so this new apartment was a blessing for me the way I felt just relaxed in this big open apartment wit freshly painted walls and brand new carpet the windows are new the blinds are nice this place was pleaseing to look at but it also made me feel better I’ve been liveing in such small dirty places for years in and out of motels and my car this place was just amazing it felt so relaxing to my brain I felt so free then when he sprayed all of that went away I feel like my eyes don’t even acknowledge wats going on in my apartment there not takeing in my surroundings anymore I barely move all day the more I try to do the more my brain try’s to figure out wat touched the carpet it’s really exhausting and overwhelming I had so many plans of getting better here cause I was finally in a good environment to get better and use the tools I learn at home since I had a clean home for the first time in years but it’s not like that anymore i feel like im slowly dieing im so depressed I cry everyday all day since that has happened I’ve called everywere and begged for help I’ve been on so many ocd apps I’ve called hospitals I’ve done everything nowere takes my insurance for ocd treatment im so messed up my schedules so messed up I can’t even get up early enough to call more places im trying so hard but it shouldn’t have to be this hard to get the proper care I need im begging everyone to please help me I want an ocd therapist I want someone who actually understand ocd to prescribe me medicene that’ll actually work I need and want help and always have wanted help I just thought I was always gonna be like this cause noone actually understood my ocd I still need to finish moveing into this apartment but I can’t my old place is 30 minutes away it’s fucking snowing and cold here im exhausted and can barely manage doing my dressing ritual everyday by the time im done I just want to try to relax I have 2 storage units I need to get stuff out of to put in our apartment to I have a pop up camper I was redoing that I didn’t get to finish and it needs to be popped down there’s literally so much that I need to get done that was suppose to be easy but instead my world and apartment has become so contaminated by the bug spray I just can’t do anything but panick I missed court and a doctors appointment even when I do get better there’s gonna be repercussions of my ocd and it sucks and now I have Covid and have been so sick I’ve not even been able to do my dressing ritual which I have to do everyday to put on clean clothes if I don’t do my dressing ritual once a day then I have to do it twice the next watever amount of days I wasn’t able to do the dressing ritual I have to make up for those days so being sick like this really sucks I just need help and I’m at the end of my rope wit this it’s been almost a month i shouldn’t have to beg for help it shouldn’t be so hard to get admitted into a psychiatric hospital just cause my ocd is hard to understand and accommodate im so done wit this shit.