- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s giving me intrusive thoughts about being attracted to dudes as well... including my friends... 🙃🙃🙃 your not alone...
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- 3y
It’s ocd though right or am I in a bisexual in denial. I’m so scared. She’s my friend who’s not my best friend because we literally get along so well and my mind keeps coming up with these “scenes” or scenarios of us together and stuff like that. Nothing too crazy but it’s telling me that I’m having romantic feelings and it’s really starting to freak me out. I don’t know what to do. I would so ashamed if it was true. I don’t want it to be. I’m so scared right now
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- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ *now my best friend
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- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ It all has to be OCD for all of us here... I hope to god it’s HOCD for me...
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- 3y
@POCD/RealEventOCD Me too honestly. I just want someone to help. I feel horrible
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- 3y
I understand, I get intrusive thoughts of marrying a woman, and being with women and I don’t like it. I get scared I’m just bi, or lesbian, or asexual, or pan sexual, and I don’t want to be. I don’t have a problem with it, I’ve always been super supporting about those things and my mind just makes me think I like it😞it’s so difficult!
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- 3y
I don’t even know for sure if it was intrusive thoughts or not. I just know lately I’ve been getting closer as a best friend with her and laugh a lot and we are both gamers so I play the game with her a lot and I keep thinking what if those scenarios in my mind aren’t intrusive and I am a bisexual in denial. She’s my friend who’s with someone with a kid, I would never ever want anything bad to happen and I don’t ever want to be bi. I don’t know if ocd is twisting it or if I should be worried? I don’t want to be going through this I’m already going through so much. Maybe it’s because she’s bi and I worried what if she’s attracted to me so then my mind wanders if I’m actually attracted back and these stupid scenarios keep racing in my mind and it really is starting to freak me out. I don’t know I’m confused and lost and upset. Just all of a sudden I thought about that I was actually thinking these weird things about her randomly while zoned out on the game just now and I immediately felt guilt made my face feel warm and my whole body felt weird. If I feel guilty does that make it true? Is it ocd or not? Am I bi in denial? What do I do? Do I do erp and try to just hang out with her like normal and let it pass? Why is this happening?
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- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ Honestly, I don’t know. Uncertainty is terrifying. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this, OCD likes to twist things and make things feel like they have to be real because of all the “evidence.” It wants to make you believe that these thoughts are true. You should consider talking to a therapist:) I’m not a professional, just a fellow sufferer.
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- 3y
@linds💕 Oh ok
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- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ If you need to talk, I’m here!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w
Hi everyone, I was sitting thinking about my ex texting me.. we are truly friends and haven’t thought about anything more between us.. but I was fantasizing about what he might be texting me about. I was thinking “oh maybe he is going to text me and say that he is still in love with me… or since he is bi-sexual, maybe he is going to tell me that he has HIV..” I immediately felt horrible because that is a stereotype about the gay community that is completely false and it was a horrible thing to think… I tried to say “that was a horrible thought to have and you have never had a thought like that before, just don’t do it again.” But I am so ashamed and my OCD is telling me that the bad guys is going to get me… can someone please assure me that I am not a terrible person? I know that we shouldn’t be seeking reassurance but I am struggling
- Date posted
- 13w
*tmi warning* I'm so worried im a P. Ive been crying daily unable to do anything else but ruminate over my real events. When i was 14 (before ocd) i was watching adult content and it was censored. The woman had similar features like hair and skin color as my niece. I remember noticing that and saying "huh i guess I'll imagine that as the adult version of my niece" and I did and after i was finished i moved on and didnt think anything was wrong. I dont know if i ever thought about that again? Its so blurry ocd keeps saying i did it again in a different time but i dont remember its too blurry and its scaring me so badly! I didnt even remember this till like literally last week and i wanted to die! Im 20 for context. When I remembered i immediately broke down in tears. I vaguely rmemeber this other thought i had of her when self pleasuring when I was 16??? I think it was a testing thought out of distress? But im not sure at all! It was extremely vague image and unrealistic i dont think I liked it but maybe i did?! Im so distressed its like i remmeber 2 versions of this particular event which is why I think its ocd false memories from there. Ive been ruminating and spiraling for almost a week. I keep crying i havent ate well at all in days ive been honestly dehydrating myself and i cannot sleep. I feel like a monster. I did the mistake of researching last night and kept comparing myself to the "criteria" of those sickos and like I felt so distressed. I also have been asking ai for hours on end everyday. I feel so distressed im literally crying rn as i write this i cant calm down i feel like this sick individual even tho I dont even like thinking of that at all i dont think I meant ill intent when i was a teen but its killing me inside. I would NEVER harm anyone nor want to or plan to, deep down i know I would never act out in those evil ways but like whats killing me is what if im attracted?! Is this a sign?! Am i one of those people?! Am i attracted to my niece bc of those 2 maybe even 3(??)thoughts years ago?! Did i mean ill intent?! Am I an actual danger?! Am I a monster??? I have so many urges to confess to my mom im so scared what this all means or could mean. I feel so alone and scared. Like legit whenever i get intrusive thoughts about gross stuff i feel disgusted and anxious and push it away. Those thoughts do not bring me pleasure whatsoever but this real event is making me doubt my own identity 😔
- Date posted
- 13w
I’ve always been straight my whole life and I’ve never considered being different nor have i ever had attraction to women but lately I’ve been going through a lot of different thoughts that definitely feel unlike me. When I was a kid and I don’t remember how old I was but im sure like 7 or 8 and my cousin that was I very close to had me do inappropriate things to her that I didn’t really know anything about at that time. After that happened to me I knew it was wrong and I felt so bad and disgusting and scared but at the time I didn’t really know anything and I remember when my mom would drop me over my grandmas house while she would work, I’d take my grandma’s phone and I looked up kissing videos and I saw the kissing scene from Jennifer’s body and looking back on it I just feel so much shame and confusion bc it certainly feels embarrassing. My cousin always liked girls but I never did. I loved sitting and watching Disney movies preferably princess and the frog and wanting to be a princess getting married to a prince just like in all the movies. I knew who I was from a very young age and that never changed about me. When I learned what porn was at an older age, I started becoming hyper sexual so I watched tutorials videos of women to learn how to pleasure myself. When I was a kid and to now I’ve never looked at women in that way. I’ve had best friends and sleepovers it’s never been anything sexual, romantic, or intimate. Just simply innocent friendships and hangouts. When I got to high school that’s when i started remembering what happened to me and i remember how the girls would talk about their first kisses and i remembered my sa and how I felt so scared to say anything to anyone bc I didn’t want people to think badly of me simply bc my first kiss was like that so I would simply just not say anything. Lately I’ve been having obsessive thoughts out of nowhere wondering if my sexuality has changed or if im bi or is it just my thoughts? I’ve always had ocd and even in school, the kids would pick at me because I always eat my food in order and by the lightest color. But lately it’s gotten worse. It’s like I’ve never had thoughts like this nor have I ever been like this. Not even when I was a child. And humans question themselves of course but this feels like something different. I’ve gotten distant from my best friend who’s also a girl and I’ve just cut off social media and female friend relationships at all because for some reason my brain tells me that it’s “gay” to even hug your friends or hold their hands anymore like you used to do when you were kids. I even got to a point where I would watch women porn and try to masturbate just to see if I was attracted to it or not like that’s how bad the thoughts got. It felt like an evil voice was in my head trying to convince me and sweet talk me to do and enjoy those disgusting things even when my body didn’t want to. I eventually had confided in my bf about it because he was also a victim of sa and so he helped me through it and I stopped doing it but then and my bf (now ex) broke up a couple days ago and now ive been dealing with this alone which feels like the hardest part for me. So I’ve texted my bff a lot to catch up because I’ve been distant dealing with this and I was just checking my phone awaiting for her responses to my texts because she tends to type slow and usually I never think anything of it because I used to check my phone all the time when I would await my boyfriends reply or simply just a text from him and so now im having thoughts like “why am I awaiting her texts” “do I like my friend?” Its just so many obsessive thoughts and so much overthinking that I am getting tired of because It’s been going on for months so I know this is a lot but please if anyone can please help me I beg, it would be such a great help appreciated bc this has became a really big impact on my life and not in a good way lol. Thank you !!
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