Today I am having tbis numbness and tiredness feeling even if I don't get intrusive thoughts so much. I just feel negative and down in a state where I don't care about anything and have little energy. Can Ocd make you feel so tired and not caring for things??I just want to lay in bed and stay there doing nothing...

Anyone else just have days where they feel more calm and don’t have as many intrusive thoughts? But then later at night time it just comes back so you only had relief even for a little bit 😞😞 I feel like even when I’m not having my OCD send me intrusive thoughts, I always have a feeling in my stomach that something is wrong/off or a sense of doom. I always just feel on edge and anxious as if my mind is always preparing itself for the next horrifying intrusive thought to torment me with ugh 🫠

So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.

Is it possible that I’m so tired of ocd or that I’m so exhausted of it that I just feel like I don’t care about anything anymore? Or that the most important thing that I was fighting for (my relationship) since ocd started I just don’t care about it anymore and feel nothing about it. Like I completely lost myself in it, I lost my identity. But the bad thoughts are still there and because I feel so numb the thoughts feel even more real like that is my reality and this is more like a feeling than a thought. And the worst part is that I have rocd and every time I think about my bf my brain connects him to all the suffer I went through even if it’s obviously not his fault but is it possible that I really don’t love him anymore because my brain automatically connects him to something bad? I’ve started to feel this way a week ago, everything went pretty well for us before it, I didn’t have feelings or thoughts like this but from now my brain tells me that I don’t want to be with him anymore which is crazy because he was everything to me, everything I was fighting for but it feels so real. I feel so burnt out. I feel like there’s no way out of it this time and im going to feel this way forever. Please help! Is it normal to feel this way? Or I just changed so much that it became my reality?