Username: cf05

Date posted: 2y ago

Why am I suddenly now wondering if I am transgender? Like I look in the mirror and do not feel pretty at all anymore and when I talk I feel like I worry about sounding masculine, as well as if people think I look masculine, etc. I am a straight woman and have been battling with intrusive thoughts about my sexuality for some time now, and I am now suddenly questioning my gender identity too. Has anyone else with SOOCD experienced this, where you develop TOCD as a result of endless rumination cycles surrounding your SOOCD? Like I look into the future and know that I want to be a wife and mother and I want to have a husband and kids, but my OCD is telling me that I will be and act like a man and that will never happen. This is literally 10000x more distressing to me than my SOOCD was because I have honestly never understood the concept of being transgender but now I fear that that is who I am and who I have to be. Please help I cannot be the only one suddenly feeling like this. I want to feel confident and pretty and feminine again and I feel like I am never going to be able to. How do I know that this isn’t gender dysphoria/that I really want to become a man

Username: AakronAakron

Date posted: 2y ago

You're not alone

Username: Piper MontanaPiper Montana

Date posted: 2y ago

I developed tocd after really struggling with soocd. I too am a straight woman who at the time I was struggling had a boyfriend and I loved him a lot. One time however we were doing “it” and I had a thought about wanting to be him and not top him and the arousal died despite feeling so good. I always love being a woman. It makes me happy. I smile when I’m in a dress, I also always put on makeup not to hide insecurities more like it how I express myself. I always wanted to be a mother etc. ocd attacks the things that mean the most to us just remember that

Username: cf05cf05

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you for sharing. I just feel so ugly when I look in the mirror and it’s like I don’t even recognize who I am. I also have always had low self esteem, so now my mind is trying to tell me that the reason I am insecure is because I actually do not want to be a woman but I know this is not true because these thoughts came out of nowhere as a result of my SOOCD. I just don’t know what to do because I am trying to live like I have been with wearing girly clothes and putting makeup on and things like that that I love to do but it just feels like I’m going through the motions and don’t actually enjoy it anymore.

Username: Anne Anne

Date posted: 2y ago

@cf05 this this this

Username: Anne Anne

Date posted: 2y ago

you’re not alone

Username: RiddledRiddled

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes the same thing happened to me. Your not alone.

Username: cf05cf05

Date posted: 2y ago

How do you remind yourself that you do not want what your thoughts are telling you? It feels so real that I’m having trouble not using past insecurities to justify why I am actually trans even though I could never actually go through with jt

Username: AakronAakron

Date posted: 2y ago

@cf05 You can't because if you use the things you feel comfort in you will always questions and doubt it. No matter how much evidence you can compile that you identify with who you used to be your mind will always say it's not enough and that this 1 piece of "proof" that they are real out does your evidence. The faster you can get comfortable saying maybe I am maybe I'm not and realize acceptance is not agreeing the less damage this subtype will cause.

Username: RiddledRiddled

Date posted: 2y ago

Exactly, it’s giving it weight that makes the theme worse. Don’t do it. The harder it is to take the weight away. You got this

Username: cf05cf05

Date posted: 2y ago

It feels so real that it’s making me feel like I am meant to be a man more than a female. It doesn’t make sense because I have never thought this way and this thought came out of nowhere, unlike the SOOCD thoughts that have come and gone throughout my life. I’m absolutely terrified because I feel like a stranger in my own body and repulsed at my thoughts. I’m also so scared that the reason I have always felt insecure and unattractive is because I am actually trans, even though prior to having these thoughts, getting all dressed up and girly made me feel more confident. Nothing is working to alleviate the anxiety of these thoughts and I don’t know what to do

Username: Imaan7Imaan7

Date posted: 2y ago

Trans thoughts are way way worse for me too, when I feel like I could be gay or i am gay my mind immediately goes to feeling like Im a woman inside.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

I’ve had this after SOOCD. This theme lasted a couple of months for me. It was really really hard at the time!! Coming from someone who has had these same thoughts, I believe that you will be able to feel better too!!

Username: cf05cf05

Date posted: 2y ago

I appreciate you. It feels like I am the exception and that everything in my life is pointing to me being gay/trans. For example, I love working out and fitness is a passion of mine, so now I feel like the fact that I have muscle definition in my arms suddenly makes me trans. Like what?? That doesn’t even logically make sense. I think part of this is because I have spent so much time ruminating and doing constant obsessions and compulsions over my SOOCD that I am starting to feel detached from myself. If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get better?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Yeah this sounds a lot like thoughts I would get too! I think what happened with me was as I kept going on doing things I like I realized that I don’t actually have an issue with my gender like my thoughts were telling me. It’s not a realization you can force I think it just came to me slowly. Keep going you will get better! If you want to talk more about this/ have questions on my experience just ask!

Username: cf05cf05

Date posted: 2y ago

I would love to keep talking if you don’t mind because I do not have anyone in my personal life to talk to about this. From your experiences, do you think that it’s possible that the reason I’m questioning my own identity now is because I have spent so much time comparing myself to other girls and being hyper aware of my attraction to them/their attraction to me because I am also jealous of how some girls are so naturally confident and can attract men without a problem because I have always wanted to be someone who had men lined up for me?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@cf05 Oh maybe! I had soocd for years before I started getting trans ocd thoughts. I do see the connection there. Don’t forget that a lot of people aren’t as confident as they may seem! It’s totally okay to recognize imperfections you may have, but at some point I personally realized that I’ve got imperfections but so does every other girl in the world. Not worth spending my time focusing on my imperfections if that’s a normal thing that makes me who I am!

Username: cato4

Date posted: 5y ago

I’m scared that I want to be a boy! I’ve been diagnosed with Harm OCD about 5 weeks ago and all of a sudden my thoughts have changed into me wanting to be a boy! I’m a 14 year old girl who’s never thought or wanted to be a boy before. I would rather the thoughts just go but sometimes the thoughts make me imagine life as a boy and it doesn’t seem that bad which then gives me anxiety because it makes me think that I might want to become a boy! I’ve always been a girly girl and loved dresses and makeup but ever since I’ve got the thought (which came out of no where) I’ve been avoiding makeup and avoiding seeing my friends! I get so scared that I might turn transgender and that I want to be a boy. Help. Is it ocd or am I trans?

"Pure" OCD

Username: aurokoi

Date posted: 4y ago

TW: GENDER OCD Okay, I posted a lil while ago about SO-OCD, but I have recently been suffering Gender OCD too. And unlike SO-OCD, this one is blowing a hole through my heart. I have never once questioned my gender. I’ve helped my trans and NB friends come out, and never once thought about my gender. But ever since my SO-OCD started and then died down, the thoughts about my gender cropped up. They range from two thoughts: I’m nonbinary, or I’m a gay trans dude in denial. And the latter one freaks me out so much, because I love reading queer media (I’m bi, and so many of my fave book series focus on gay couples), and my brain uses that as an excuse that I like it because I actually AM a gay guy. The thought is paralyzingly, and I can’t even begin to think of a way to overcome it like SO-OCD because the thought of me ‘accepting’ it as true scares the hell out of me. I can’t enjoy my favourite books anymore, or my favourite TV shows/movies. Anything with a gay couple makes my brain think I want to literally be one of them, when before I could just enjoy it for what it was, a story with queer characters. My connection to my gender is something I’ve always held dear to me, and the thought of being pulled from it is heartbreaking, and also makes me feel extremely guilty because I support trans rights so much, so why am I so scared of being trans/NB? How do I even begin to get over this when the idea of accepting the thought terrifies me? How do I begin to convince the anxiety that just because I enjoyed reading/watching something doesn’t mean I actually want it to happen in real life?

Username: aprilmava

Date posted: 3y ago

people with TOCD, please lmk if you feel like this I’ve always been happy with the gender I’ve been. Female . A girl. Doing girly girl things such as makeup , fashion , doing nails, and etc and have never once thought about switching my gender . I like my body and have been comfortable with whom I’ve been. And I’ve always been comfortable with my she/her pronouns and all that stuff . But ever since I got TOCD it’s like “do you?” And I think it’s creating false feeling and false thoughts. Like I’ve never thought about being the opposite gender and I’ve never liked male items but now every time idk I try to do an “ exposure “ I’m like “a dress or a suit” and my brain would pick a suit but I’ve never wanted to wear a suit . I would want to wear a dress and it makes me feel like I’m in denial. I feel like I’m already a man?? Like I’m not sure :( but it makes me feel uncomfortable but I already got used to it and I’m like “wow I severely need a therapist now to help me” I don’t want a penis but I get intrusive thoughts about you do and coming out to my family and stuff like that’. I don’t like or want to look masculine but I think my brain wants to but I don’t :( that’s why I feel like I’m in denial but I really don’t want to :( It feels like my personality just completely switched like that In an instant . I don’t want to be a man but I got used to this feeling :( My friend also did a tarot card reading on me and told me I’m in some sort of denial which I don’t wanna believe since she’s absolutely new .

Transgender OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community