@cf05 100%. The more you focus on your reactions, urges, sensations the more you will be aware of them. Not assigning any meaning to them is key. Okay, so I just felt that, and I want to freak out, but I’m not going to. OCD is not in charge I am. OCD is always going to feel real. There is a lot of fear around engaging in ERP for everyone. For me it came down to, this is the most effective treatment for people with OCD and I want to recover. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. What I see in ERP is triggering. It does feel real. But honestly the exercises will feel less and less triggering as time goes on. For me I didn’t have a therapist that diagnosed me with OCD. I found OCD on my own and then started doing research reading books, listening to podcasts, reading blogs, and it really helped me work my way up to ERP. Where I felt prepared and was ready to face my OCD. I don’t think there is anything wrong with taking your time.
That said, I heard something once that kind of described OCD as a monster or vampire where the only way to defeat it is to drag it out into the sunlight. You have to look directly at it to bring it down and it does take time.