Hope everyone is having a beautiful Wednesday! Looking for some advice/encouragement about facing the top tiers of an ERP hierarchy… specifically for HOCD. In my appointment today with my therapist she suggested that it was time to tackle the more difficult triggers on my hierarchy (on the positive side, I think this is progress?)We started to talk about a safety plan and the potential of tackling the more bothersome issues. Of course this spiked my anxiety. However, I’m not completely sure what I would consider as my higher ranked triggers. In past conversations in developing my hierarchy she discussed the potential of going to a gay bar or asking a neighbor of mine about when she left her husband to be with a woman (which really happened and was my initial triggering event that started my HOCD). The thing is I don’t think these type of things are relatable to my underlying HOCD fear. Thinking about going to a gay bar does not spike me with anxiety as I am not nervous around gay people. For me, it’s more the fact that straight people do leave their marriages, even happy marriages with children, to be with someone of the same sex. I am not afraid about going to a gay bar or to have a conversation with my neighbor, I’m more fearful of what could be implied—what if someone saw me (plus with Covid surging, I’m not going anywhere!). What would my neighbor think if we had that conversation? I guess my question is: how have you dealt with moving up the hierarchy? People with HOCD, what are some exercises/ideas you could recommend that were 8, 9, or 10s on your list? Obviously I don’t want my therapist to think I’m avoiding certain things—I’ve been more than open and willing bc with my ERP. I just don’t think those types of suggestions would be beneficial for my HOCD/Pure O. Thanks! ❤️

Hey there! My name is Tyler Devine and I am one of the advocates here at NOCD. Let me start by saying you are a great writer and it seems like you are winning your battle . OCD is a very, very debilitating area in the realm of mental health and anxiety disorders. However, we know this. Saying how hard it is and continuing to dig a deeper hole is not how you win this daily battle. Learning to face OCD head on is something that comes with time and practice. I’m not sure where you are in your journey with OCD, but let me give you some background on myself: I’m 27 years old and have been dealing with ocd since I was young. About five years ago, I finally surrendered to the monster that is OCD (particularly SO-OCD, which if you’re unfamiliar with some of the main subtypes of ocd, is obsessive thoughts, feelings etc of a sexual relation). Ever since then, I have never looked back. I know it’s tough but trust a vet like me who has put a lot of time into this stuff when I say you are far from alone. Some big things that helped me tame the beast and still do to this day are meditation, prayer, ERP (both staged and in real time), help from a specialist, faith, and medication (if necessary, as a supplement to your training). All these things combined with a positive attitude toward yourself and your OCD will lead you to victory! Keep helping others and keep utilizing the wonderful community of therapists and people who struggle with the same stuff like you and me. I like that you try and do exposures in your everyday life! That’s an awesome mindset and I’m a big believer in that style of training👍🏼For example, I say hi to the random guy or person that my ocd would normally run wild on, or go out with friends to do something different, etc. ERP is tough, but it’s one of those things that once you do it, you start to feel like a super human! There is a positive side to having OCD and as a vet I like to highlight this to people like yourself who are scared and new to the journey: With the right training and hard work, you literally become a master of dealing with fear💪🏼 Not just in your ocd theme either, you’ll see your training spill over into other areas of your life that even people who don’t have ocd struggle with. Stay positive and never settle. Strength and Prayers, Tyler D