for those with SO-OCD, how did your subtype come about? for me it was just one day lying in bed and irrationally thinking that since I wasn’t interested in hooking up with my male “friend” that I was gay and that I was hiding the fact from myself all these years. Im just not too familiar with how OCD manifests in people. like is it sudden or?

I was at a basketball game and someone asked me if I was gay. That’s when I started to think, what if I am? I thought that it was ridiculous and the thought would just go away like other thoughts because I’ve always been attracted to girls. I kept thinking if I was in a relationship how everything would be ruined if I was. I became distanced from all of my friends because I was afraid to get a random feeling of attraction that I’ve never had before.

I remember being at my aunts house. And she was with her GF. And I remember looking at her and asking her if she was and she answered yes. And that’s it she didn’t go into detail or anything I was just a kid. My mom came and picked me up. I asked my mom if I was going to be like her because she’s my aunt. And my mom said no that’s not how that works. And I remember when I figured it out and when she confirmed it that i was scared I didn’t feel like oh that’s the one like me. I felt dread I didn’t want to be like her. And it’s not like my mom was like oh that’s evil blah blah fire and brimstone know she just said no that’s not how that works. And I didn’t think my aunt was bad I just didn’t wanna be like her at all

I can’t remember clearly but I could’ve sworn it all began when I had this dream about kissing another girl (mind you I’ve met this girl once in my life, MAYBE twice but idk for sure). It’s so weird though like this is life now.

I saw a tiktok of someone saying I’m not gay or bi but I wouldn’t mind kissing a girl and the thoughts just came since I said oh yeah same so yeah that’s how my so-ocd began