- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I remember being at my aunts house. And she was with her GF. And I remember looking at her and asking her if she was and she answered yes. And that’s it she didn’t go into detail or anything I was just a kid. My mom came and picked me up. I asked my mom if I was going to be like her because she’s my aunt. And my mom said no that’s not how that works. And I remember when I figured it out and when she confirmed it that i was scared I didn’t feel like oh that’s the one like me. I felt dread I didn’t want to be like her. And it’s not like my mom was like oh that’s evil blah blah fire and brimstone know she just said no that’s not how that works. And I didn’t think my aunt was bad I just didn’t wanna be like her at all
- Date posted
- 3y
I can’t remember clearly but I could’ve sworn it all began when I had this dream about kissing another girl (mind you I’ve met this girl once in my life, MAYBE twice but idk for sure). It’s so weird though like this is life now.
- Date posted
- 3y
I was at a basketball game and someone asked me if I was gay. That’s when I started to think, what if I am? I thought that it was ridiculous and the thought would just go away like other thoughts because I’ve always been attracted to girls. I kept thinking if I was in a relationship how everything would be ruined if I was. I became distanced from all of my friends because I was afraid to get a random feeling of attraction that I’ve never had before.
- Date posted
- 3y
I saw a tiktok of someone saying I’m not gay or bi but I wouldn’t mind kissing a girl and the thoughts just came since I said oh yeah same so yeah that’s how my so-ocd began
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I have just recently realized that I had SO OCD. This began whenever I was watching porn and had an intrusive thought about the guy in the porn. It was more minor at first, it was a majority of what I was thinking about throughout the day but it didn’t feel as distressing at first. If I had downtime to think about it, it would affect me but if I was just going about my day I wouldn’t notice it. I began going through the compulsions of checking myself. This lasted for a while until another obsession occurred. Then it seemed as if my SO OCD took a step back. I would have flare ups but they would seem to pass. Recently, I had a very bad night of constant compulsions and looking at pictures and imagining things to check myself. After that night it was very distressing, it affected me to the point where people around me began to notice and ask me if I was okay. One of the big reasons I was so upset was my girlfriend, we have been together for over 3 years and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I was thinking “Oh my god, if I am gay I can never be with her.” I would sit and cry about it thinking I would lose her and that might life would change because I was gay. I finally had enough and talked to her and my parents. We did some research and I was so shocked to find out that I had a form of OCD, it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders just knowing that other people have been where I am and that I’m not gay. However, I may have naively expected the compulsions and obsessive thoughts to go away now that I knew I had an actual problem. But I found that the compulsions and thoughts were still there and I was going to put some effort into getting better. I have researched and now know what to do when experiencing intrusive thoughts, yet I still have been performing the compulsions which is just feeding into the OCD. I find myself having intrusive thoughts and then start performing compulsions to see if they are true. What really bothers me is when I have an intrusive thought that tells me that I do like something. But when I think about it I have no desire to pursue those thoughts. However when I feed into the compulsions they just seem to feed into each other. It is like my OCD ignores all the things that I know I like and goes straight to panic mode. I am also trying to do ERP and am going to start doing my best to get better. Does anyone have any tips for not performing the compulsions no matter how anxious you are feeling and no matter how real the intrusive thoughts seem to feel?
- Date posted
- 22w
For me it was a weird intrusive thought and after that I slowly started developing anxiety and I felt a weird thing like I was losing my attraction to girls. Then I woke up one day in complete panic cuz it felt like I had lost feelings for girls suddenly and I started searching online how to know if you’re gay if sexuality changes suddenly and I took some gay tests or sexuality tests online. Chat gpt was a big thing back then too. That was before therapy and before I knew what ocd is.Can anyone relate?
- Date posted
- 22w
I wanted to voice that homosexuals can get HOCD too. I remember when i was younger and knew i was gay i still got HOCD one time when watching The Office. I thought Pam was so pretty and then started doubting my whole identity because what if i am straight? Oh god, what a terror if i was heterosexual. But anyway, thought that maybe this would help heteros with HOCD by knowing that this is a universal symptom across OCD sufferers of all sexual orientations. A big problem is calling this subtype “Homosexual OCD,” because its not. It has nothing to do with being homo or hetero or bi or anything. Its just OCD being a bully. I think labelling subtypes is an issue altogether, as it can unconsciously make people feel like its not just OCD. But it is. Does this make any sense? What are yall’s thoughts on this? Or is this just my OCD talking? (Im not seeking reassurance just genuinely find this interesting) TLDR; each time we “qualify” OCD with a subtype, we reinforce that the subtype is part of the issue. In reality, OCD is just a broken loop in our brains, and thoughts are just thoughts. And Pam Beesly is a hottie.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond