Ok so hopefully this post makes sense.
Does POCD and HOCD collide at all for anyone?
I have a question. Does POCD and HOCD (Sexual orientation OCD) mixed together or twist with each other because not only am I scared to become bi for religious reasons but it’s twisting with POCD and also other family too. A friend of mine when she had blonde hair at one point (now it’s brown) it would try and convince me that I was attracted to my friend because I was having intrusive thoughts about my little niece who is also blonde. So it twisted the two trying to say if I became “bi” or whatever that it would be “inspired by” or because of my little niece and that’s not true I would never ever want that to be true so it makes me so scared of what if I actually did come out as bi and it would be because my mind is trying to convince me I’m attracted to someone younger which is so horrible and I hate even talking about this but I know it can’t be true. I also have a huge fear that I could be punished or whatever religiously if I came out “bi”. I’m just so lost I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t. I also fear of what if that means I’m attracted to female family members because of it too like insest OCD which I have also struggled with in the past with having intrusive thoughts about family members. I don’t know if it’s all just ocd twisting everything into something that’s it’s not. I don’t know if I’m “bi” honestly the thought of that happening scares me so much for so many reasons like what I mentioned above. I’m scared of what if it’s true and not pocd which I would rather give up than it ever be true. I absolutely hate all of this. I can’t even be around my friend without it telling me I like her or have a “crush” on her and if I did it would be because of *false* attraction to the other people in my life (POCD and Insest OCD)I hope this all makes sense and if anyone has struggled with the two themes or have any advice (not reassurance) or can possibly be helpful please comment and help because I’m terrified from all this.