I wanted to no if there’s anyone that has rituals that they’ve been doing for years and does anyone have dressing rituals and hygiene rituals like obviously ppl get up everyday and put on clean clothes and get ready for work so everyday most ppl change there clothes but for me i dress ritualisticly I can’t just put on a shirt do my makeup and throw some pants on and leave the house I have to get the clothes I’m wearing out lay them out on my bed in the order they get put on my body then I can do hygiene the hair and makeup it’s all gotta be done like that and it’s been different variations of that threwout the years it was hard to do when I was younger cause I was still getting used to haveing ocd but once I got it down and got better it was easier to deal wit but I still had to do that and the same wit showering I go from left to rite too to bottom kind of thing I’ve been doing it for 15 years but you gotta do these things to be clean so things that have to be done everyday have become ritualized and they just kind of staid all these years cause that’s the way I’ve always done them and they have to be done everyday I’ve got to dress I’ve got to shower I got ocd in school so everyday I’d dress then when I got out of high school I was a stay at home mom I didn’t have to go anywere but I still did the dressing ritual it wasn’t as big of a deal back then but I still had to do it I couldn’t just throw on a clean shirt for the day cause I was a tired mom I’d have to do the entire ritual and put on clean underwear pants bra undershirt and shirt apply deodorant clean ears and face that was my dressing ritual cause obviously you need to put on clean clothes I just always done it this way since I got ocd and now that my ocd has been worse the past few years and my life has also been rough this ritual wit other rituals have been hard the repetiveness of all of them are aggravating I’m on ssi I stay home alot my kids live wit my mom cause I couldn’t take care of them alone so it’s just been me and now me and my bf whose struggled wit life but we’ve been homeless a few times which had made dressing and showering hard cause of my ocd I need to dress once a day I need to be able to lay my clothes out and have a clean area to set hygiene stuff I do alot more than that and it was very hard but there’s be days I couldn’t change my clothes so I’d be stuck in the same clothes for a few days then when I’d be able to change them I’d have to do the ritual the amount of days I’d missed so dressing and undressing in different outfits applying deodorant the amount of days missed it’s been really stressful but my entire life it was normal to change your clothes everyday so I did I have ocd and obviously do things different and didn’t think of this as being this difficult but On days were I mite be sick I’d like to just enjoy those days and not change my clothes but we’re do you draw the line wit it cause I stay home 24 7 I don’t need to dress everyday I could stay in the same clothes for months you no like tshirt and sweatpants kind of thing I couldn’t just put on a clean pair of underwear and maybe wash my sweats every few days I’d have to do the entire dressing ritual and I’m not sure wat to do to change this to wear I don’t need to do it everyday but also not staying in the same clothes 24 7 since I don’t work.

back in october i made my first post about my specific type of ocd, how it mixes in with my day to day and how i “deal” with it. i talked about the starting point, how it gradually got worse, and then how it was going just a few months ago. i always think it’s insane how much can change in just the course of a small to a large amount of time. right now, i honestly feel like garbage. to be quite sincere i really want to give up, i’m barely holding on by a thread. and if i cut that thread, i really doubt anyone would care. i’ve never considered myself to be a suicidal person, and i still don’t consider myself that right now. it just gets to a point where it’s just, a lot to deal with. i don’t really enjoy things a lot nowadays. sure i have good days like everyone does, like today, when i was just enjoying my day without worries. but then it all comes crawling back twice as bad the following days. i take online college so i’m usually just stuck at home most of the time. but, when i do decide to actually go out and leave my house, my ocd just explodes because i have this whole routine i need to do or else i feel like i’ll contaminate wherever i end up going. i’m not going to go really deep into my compulsions because it’s hard enough to live with them, much more having to type them all out in detail. but when i go out my compulsions go from wiping down all my stuff i’m going to use after showering, to washing my clothes/cleaning the washer + dryer. i also have separate things (or two of the same thing) i use specifically in my house, and items i use when going out. such as shampoo/body wash, deodorant, lotion, hair curler, etc. as if that’s not draining enough, i also feel the need to fast a couple days prior to any plan i make because i’ve forced myself to believe i need to feel empty in order to be clean. i’m not sure if that’s my past eating disorder talking, or my ocd, but my brain can’t help but think any food in my house is utterly and completely contaminated. i’m so tired of this feeling, feeling like nothing will ever be clean again. feeling like my ocd is trapped in my childhood home. feeling that wave of diseases rushing through my veins the moment i step foot into what’s supposed to be “home”. and i’m so scared of therapy because what if i do get healed, and then everything comes rushing back the second i step into my room. i’m planning on moving somewhere far from my current house in this next coming year, so sometimes i feel like just waiting it out. but it’s insufferable when going to hangout with someone. i miss my friends, my family, and my partner. it’s crazy to me that i’m dealing with all this at the young age of 18 but, i’m sure lots of people have it way worse. i just want to find a way out, any possible way. but i keep pushing myself deeper and deeper that when i finally find a way, it will no longer exist.

I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.

Hi everyone. I’m having a really hard time today in my relationship. I am just feeling so frustrated by my back-and-forth feelings about my relationship. One day I’ll feel so good, and then the next I don’t at all. I think my biggest trigger in the house is the chores that the two of us have to do in the house. I’m much more of a clean person than my boyfriend is. I’m also thinking that he has ADHD and struggles to remember when to do specific chores and I have to remind him pretty often, but he will usually do it when I ask. Today, I’m on a huge spiral of telling myself that he is never gonna be able to learn to do things on his own, he’s not gonna be able to take care of our kids in the future If we do get married, he’s not gonna be able to help take care of our house when we do have one one day, And I am just exhausted. It’s so hard fighting these thoughts all day and then I feel like I have to sit down and talk to him about chores and obviously that doesn’t go well when I’m not feeling good. Definitely a compulsion… It feels so much better when I can just relax and just let him figure things out on his own, and I can just take care of myself. I also come from a household where I was constantly criticized and controlled in certain ways, so I have that to carry too…I’ve gotten much better at doing that most of the time but today is pretty bad. It always feels a little bit worse as well when I’m on my period and feeling very hormonal as well… Can anyone please shed some light on if they’ve experienced this before and any support they might be able to offer in relation to this? Anything would be helpful and please be kind!