I was talking to this girl and she was talking about how she took some guys virginity and I got a groinal and it’s giving me intrusive thoughts about how I’m aroused by the fact she was talking about a guy... 😞😞😞

A compulsion i do is if i get a groinal or anticipate it i take a step. Adjust my legs and feet to avoid the groinals. I was carrying my daughter and worry about groinals which sucks. I had groinals when I picked her up but discarded it didnt give it attention. Then when i put her down i had intrusive thoughts about groinals worrying if i get it. I took a step to my right and just sat with the groinals and the thoughts. I do t remember if i took a second step or not but ocd hyper-focused in the groinal sensations and i feel guilty its telling me i took tbe step to get groinals and i sat with it to arouse myself but i think i took the step as a compulsion and my ocd hyperfocused on the ocd and was aware of it and just let it be but ocd is saying i acted on the thoughts and aroused myself i know thats not true.

Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared

Hey guys I'm 17 years old I had experience with OCD I looked trans pornography and femboy stuff I'm straight I didn't jerk off to it I was really only looking at it in the past I have but for some reason I just felt like looking at it and when I did I did experience arousal not only that while I had a boner I simultaneously was thinking of memories and bad actions I had in 4th grade with another boy I myself not a homosexual I was a kid I did something with another boy I regret it I had that thought in my head lingering there in my head but I noticed pre ejaculation and now I feel anxiety because now it feels like I was intrigued by the thought it feels like it is it was probably to the video visual stimulus but it's hard I didn't jerk off to it at all I was really just looking idk what to do it feels like I did experience it to the video but also my thoughts say to the thought idk what to do can someone shed light on this