Does anyone else experience some moments/ days in which he thinks he is thinking “clear” and after a trigger comes in it feels like these “clear days “ have felt like a lie and one just betrayed oneself since one is not able to accept that one is in denial?

Yes. So many times I feel like I have a moment of clarity and that I am myself and then I get an intrusive thought and it all shatters. Sometimes feels like going back to square one.

Absolutely!! It’s so frustrating since I cannot distinguish between the real me and OCD and I am not even sure what is the real me or if I am in denial about the real me

I agree. I think the frustrating part is that it now affects how I interact with people. I am even scared to make new friends because I’m scared that I’m not my real self. It’s so hard. Literally anything triggers my OCD