i keep questioning what i did to deserve this. there’s days i go to sleep wishing i didn’t wake up. there’s days where i wake up wanting to just end it all and end the pain i keep causing everyone around me bc they see me struggling and it probably frustrates them as much as it frustrates me. i try so so hard to be okay everyday. these thoughts are so fucken brutal it’s crazy. i can’t even say “aww i can’t wait to have kids” without my mind telling “you just want kids bc your a sicko. you’re gonna hurt them.” false memory ocd & real event ocd have been absolute hell. the urges, the feelings, the frustration, the anger, the disturbing most disgusting thoughts ever. it’s only been 3 months of this constant battle and i feel like it’s been 8 years & like my life has already came crashing down. i had so much ahead of myself, i wanted to be a professional nail tech. i wanted to make it big in life, i saw such a bright future for myself. i cry everyday about this bc i just can’t believe it. im so truly sorry to those of you who struggle bc of ocd. i wish i could cure everyone so we could all go back to being okay again😞