i keep questioning what i did to deserve this. there’s days i go to sleep wishing i didn’t wake up. there’s days where i wake up wanting to just end it all and end the pain i keep causing everyone around me bc they see me struggling and it probably frustrates them as much as it frustrates me. i try so so hard to be okay everyday. these thoughts are so fucken brutal it’s crazy. i can’t even say “aww i can’t wait to have kids” without my mind telling “you just want kids bc your a sicko. you’re gonna hurt them.” false memory ocd & real event ocd have been absolute hell. the urges, the feelings, the frustration, the anger, the disturbing most disgusting thoughts ever. it’s only been 3 months of this constant battle and i feel like it’s been 8 years & like my life has already came crashing down. i had so much ahead of myself, i wanted to be a professional nail tech. i wanted to make it big in life, i saw such a bright future for myself. i cry everyday about this bc i just can’t believe it. im so truly sorry to those of you who struggle bc of ocd. i wish i could cure everyone so we could all go back to being okay again😞

I feel you. This awful torture started 6 months ago for me, and before that I was so excited for the amazing future I imagined for myself. I cry every day too because I don’t think the real me will ever some back, and I’m so scared for how much worse it will get in the future. I also wish more than anything that everyone with OCD could be cured and go back to their normal selves. 😔😔

it’s absolutely terrible. im so so sorry you’re going through this. none of us deserve to feel this way. im always here if you need to talk!😞 🤍

Thank you, and I’m also so sorry you’re going through this. I’m here for you too!

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Just know you’re not alone. I went and am still going through this exact same thing and it’s hell. I wanted to die because my POCD and false memory was/is so bad. It’s torture and it’s not fair that we have to live like this battling with our minds everyday. I can tell by your post you’re a wonderful person and you want what’s best and I hope one day we can all be free from this. It’s unfair to us to live like this. I will say though, I’m thankful to have medicine to help cope with some of the worst days. Are you seeing a therapist or taking medication? I’m always here for you really. ♥️

thank you sm😞 yes it’s the absolute worst. im worrying about me not having reactions to my thoughts bc it makes me believe that it means im not afraid to act on my thoughts. im still so scared after seeing someone’s instagram comment saying that someone on reddit triggered her saying “you’re on of us, that’s how we started” and it fucken scares me.