i’m so tired of waking up everyday and dealing with intrusive thoughts and urges. i feel so guilty about everything and i don’t deserve all the love i get and the nice things my family buys me, i’m a disgusting person. i don’t even feel like i’m part of my family anymore i feel completely detached from everything in my life. i don’t think i can ever go back to how i used to be, i feel like i’m too far gone and my brain is too messed up.