It’s hard for me to get up and do anything I’m tired all the time I never wanna leave my bed I stay up late and get up late and I can’t just get up early 1 day to go somewere and then go back to this schedule so I make all appointments for really late but it’s still hard to make it to them I feel like I’m scared to get up early Im scared to go outside during the day cause there’s so many ppl so many cars I don’t like seeing the sun I don’t ever really turn on the lites in my house I have insulation things in the windows and curtains I just don’t like it being so bright I’m scared of being tired my anxiety’s worse when I’m tired things are harder to deal wit I’ve had a rough life the past few years which has given me even more fear Im on ssi and can’t afford alot of things so I feel like I have no control over my life cause I don’t have money I can’t do anything witout others help financially and leaveing things up to others and depending on others is really hard to deal wit and I no I need to face my fears and get use to doing things so I can get over the fear of doing stuff but I don’t have the energy for that rite now my life is consumed of ocd I have alot of rituals and other things wit my ocd that are extremely hard to deal wit so doing things to feel more comfortable going outside isn’t my main concern my ocd is I want to work on it and get help but I can’t even get up to go to a doctor and it’s not just a 1 visit thing it’d be monthly visits and then I’d want to see a therapist which would be weekly visits and getting medication if I miss 1 appointment I’ll be out of medication and it causes me so much anxiety constantly be afraid of not haveing medications and missing appointments I wish I could get more than a months medication I wish I could do over the phone therapy and in home therapy I feel like this would help me be comfortable and less stressed and overwhelmed until I could get some thing under control more to were I can function a little bit better I just think trying to do all this stuff at once wit all the stress it causes me I get so overwhelmed and end up messing everything up I feel like noone really understands this I no others stay in bed and stay up late and get up late but I legit can’t just go to bed early 1 day cause I have somewere to go the next day and be normal I couldn’t just go to bed early I can’t just wake up only being in bed for a few hours and be tired cause I just can’t handle it it is to hard for me it’s always been this way even when I was younger I do have insomnia issues i had problems in school and when I had my kids getting up wit them I’ve just always been able to hide that I had been in bed all day I’d eat packets of medications to get rest just something to knock me out when really I think my anxiety is the problem but they make it so hard to get anxiety medication and if you do get it it’s hard to get every month cause your treated as a drug addict I just want a doctor to help me and prescribe me medications for all of my mental illnesses and a therapist that actually cares and helps me wit my ocd I just want to be more normal and have a more normal life I want to make some extra money when I need to I no wat I need to get help and to get better but I can’t get it cause I’m just so messed up rite now and so tired I try to explain to places I can only come in late and tell them the reasons and it’s like noone understands it like I seem so normal to them but they don’t see that I was up all nite nervous bout leaveing the house nervous bout the appointment they didn’t see wat I did to get dressed wats going on in my head just a jumbled mess they just see me in the office not noing I just woke up at it’s 3 o’clock it’s so aggravating and I’ve been dealing wit this kind of stuff for so long that I’m just tired of it things should be easier for ppl.