- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Self harm is a serious thing. If you're in highschool that's very traumatic for both you and her and you guys should break up and not speak until you can get clean for a decently long period of time. Itll emotionally damage both of you beyond repair for a long time. For you, this terrible relapse cycle, guilt, shame and extra worry you don't need. And for her, the burden of someone's life resting in her hands and the learned helplessness of being unable to save you. Super tolling and shouldn't be necessary to put yourselves through in highschool. If you're adults, start couples counseling asap.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m not in high school. I’m in ERP therapy and I’m not worried that Remeron is changing my personality (I’m not even at therapeutic dosage yet), just that it won’t be enough. I’ve never been a cutter (I’ve tried only a couple times in the past). But for some reason I’ve really wanted to do it a lot lately. I gave the knife to her so I wouldn’t do it in a more coolheaded moments, but a couple times I searched the house for it so I could do it. I know it probably makes me a burden but I was looking for anything that might help and I was willing to try it. Honestly, I’m so exhausted with this obsession. It just doesn’t go away. Whenever I start to feel happy, it shows up and ruins everything and I can’t get back to where I was. I really hope the Remeron helps. I’m desperate.
- Date posted
- 3y
hey just a warning: do not, say, take like 240mg of remeron at once. It might change your personality in a weird and uncomfortable way that others around you WILL NOT like.
- Date posted
- 3y
Okay the person above you shouldn't scare you. I take 15mg every night for 3 years. Gets me to sleep. Therapy, good friends, kindness in your relationship, a job and some purpose like some volunteering or yoga lmao will help. Not just one, but all of these things. Even if you have drag each and every step forward through the worst terrain of your life, or crawl on your hands and knees. That mountain of betterness is waiting for you.
- Date posted
- 3y
15 mg/night is not the same as 240 mg in under an hour. I was just giving that warning bc I was in similar straights June last year and I tried doing that, and despite taking a minimum of 15mg a day prior, 240 suddenly messed me up BAD. It wasn't permanent, but the next 24 hours were a weird, bad time, so I just wanted to recommend, you know, not doing that, because it will make every issue so much worse + create new ones.
- Date posted
- 3y
@excalibre-hotmessexpress Hadn’t even crossed my mind haha. I am very conscientious about following the dr’s instructions.
- Date posted
- 3y
@CaptainKierkegaard I don’t mean to laugh at that experience though. It sounds shitty and I don’t even want to imagine what that’s like.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
I’m feeling really scared I’ve been left in the lurch by my therapist today as she said she doesn’t feel comfortable doing anymore therapy with me unless I increase my mirtazipine (Remeron) as my OCD has spiked a lot since I started with her and I’m only just at the beginning, but I’m not sure increasing my meds is the right thing to do so much as what she’s doing is causing it …….. basically my OCD theme is it tells me I’ve done horrendous things like I’ve harmed people, it’s in the affirmative tense not the “what if?” anymore, I guess it’s a bit like it tries to give me false memories but isn’t quite the same,and I just feel so unarmed how to deal with it and I’m really scared I’m going to end up in a very very dark place again 😭
- Date posted
- 17w
I'm struggling with a lot of doubts today, but trying the best I can to keep on living my life 🥲 I'm on 150mg of Sertraline right now, and honestly, I'm feeling a lot better than before. Do I still get triggered? Yes! But I'm handling it easier. The only issue is, I feel like I'm obsessing over recovering? Not if I'm doing it "right," but more so getting to a point where I feel "perfect." That's not possible, I know. Even before OCD spiraled out of control, I struggled with other issues on a daily basis. But life felt simpler back then, and I didn't have this magical (and annoying) ability to remember every single bad thing that's ever happened to me or every single intrusive thought I've ever had in extreme detail 😭 Whenever I'm feeling okay, I can not help but think, "Remember how bad it was (insert time-frame)?" And then my mind zip zaps through every instance I've ever felt anxiety, like...? I don't even know if it's me doing this or if its OCD, but it frustrates me so, so much when it happens. Anyway, that's all for now... If anyone can relate, we're in this together 🤍 Hang in there!
- Date posted
- 16w
I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond