Parents who struggle with pocd and/or harm-comment on this post. I’m feeling really isolated lately 😞

I think I remember talking to you on here before back in august/sept of 2020 when I was having my major episode. I’m back in the heat of a horrible relapse 😞 how are you doing?

I experience the same thing you do girl, I don’t want you to think you’re isolated and different. I shy away from my child’s hugs. I get intrusive thought that make me physically ill and wince. I struggle giving them baths, I struggle doing laundry sometimes even. I’m so afraid I’m going to get false aroused by something that I cause myself so much discomfort and anxiety

@Anon1294 Thank you for sharing with me ❤️ I’m seriously struggling so badly lately. I legitimately feel like any contact with my daughter is inappropriate at this point. I can’t have her on my lap, or my knee. I will literally feel my leg get all tingly and start to twitch. Same thing when we are laying in bed. If her body is up against mine, I have to breathe a certain way and I hold my body super still but I feel like I can feel it tingling and/or twitching. And picking her up to hold her on my hip bothers me so much now. All I can think about is the pressure of her up against my hip and then I get super tense and don’t wanna make any movement. And then because I’m tense, it feels like I’m doing something wrong. It’s so hard. So upsetting.

@Freemeofocd Omg I know… I experience this too. I cover myself on my private areas to avoid contact when they come lay with me. I push them off me. I don’t like picking them up anymore. I don’t like holding their hands sometimes! I hate it so much. I literally never had this problem before then all the sudden I’m terrified of them. I cry sometimes because they just want their mommy and I just want to be their mommy for them. It’s the saddest thing in the world.

@Freemeofocd I’ve done these exact things before. I still struggle with bath time. I wash my daughters bottom as quickly as possible and find myself holding my breath. I used to imagine Jesus on the cross (the purest thing I could think of) but have since learned that that was a compulsion.