- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Momma with pocd here. I have good and bad days. You’re not alone. It’s the worst thing to ever happen
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- 3y
I could handle the thoughts if it were just thoughts alone. But it’s when they start to bleed into my actions and feelings and sensations. I literally can’t even hold my daughter a certain way without feeling guilty. I question my every movement. Diaper changes are carefully orchestrated all the way down to the way the diaper is positioned and everything.
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- 3y
Just thoughts of me being a monster, abusive etc like scenarios. Stuff i hate
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- 3y
I do....it's horrible
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- 3y
I think I remember talking to you on here before back in august/sept of 2020 when I was having my major episode. I’m back in the heat of a horrible relapse 😞 how are you doing?
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- 3y
It comes and goes...it's almost like i don't know how to be free of this cause I'm so used to the discomfort. I hate that
- Date posted
- 3y
How does your pocd manifest? Like why type of stuff do you experience if you don’t mind me asking? I feel like no one experiences what I do. It’s so exhausting and distressing.
- Date posted
- 3y
I experience the same thing you do girl, I don’t want you to think you’re isolated and different. I shy away from my child’s hugs. I get intrusive thought that make me physically ill and wince. I struggle giving them baths, I struggle doing laundry sometimes even. I’m so afraid I’m going to get false aroused by something that I cause myself so much discomfort and anxiety
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anon1294 Thank you for sharing with me ❤️ I’m seriously struggling so badly lately. I legitimately feel like any contact with my daughter is inappropriate at this point. I can’t have her on my lap, or my knee. I will literally feel my leg get all tingly and start to twitch. Same thing when we are laying in bed. If her body is up against mine, I have to breathe a certain way and I hold my body super still but I feel like I can feel it tingling and/or twitching. And picking her up to hold her on my hip bothers me so much now. All I can think about is the pressure of her up against my hip and then I get super tense and don’t wanna make any movement. And then because I’m tense, it feels like I’m doing something wrong. It’s so hard. So upsetting.
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- 3y
@Freemeofocd Omg I know… I experience this too. I cover myself on my private areas to avoid contact when they come lay with me. I push them off me. I don’t like picking them up anymore. I don’t like holding their hands sometimes! I hate it so much. I literally never had this problem before then all the sudden I’m terrified of them. I cry sometimes because they just want their mommy and I just want to be their mommy for them. It’s the saddest thing in the world.
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- 3y
@Freemeofocd I’ve done these exact things before. I still struggle with bath time. I wash my daughters bottom as quickly as possible and find myself holding my breath. I used to imagine Jesus on the cross (the purest thing I could think of) but have since learned that that was a compulsion.
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- 3y
*what
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- 3y
I’m a mom with POCD unfortunately
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I feel so alone. Has anyone done what I've done with POCD?
- Date posted
- 22w
Please please help me. I need support. I just need someone to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. I want to get past it all. I'm struggling STRUGGLING today. My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so wanted in the moment and SO real. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support? (edited)
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- 18w
Hello everybody I just am looking for someone to talk to about my harm ocd / false memory/ sexual intrusiveness. Anyone who has healed or found ways to deal with the illness. Feels like I’m losing hope more and more everyday. I want to be okay but it’s hard living with uncertainty and unwanted urges of doing something terrible. Thanks god bless.
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