- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 3y
That is probably the nicest thing I've ever read... and you're right. I guess I don't need them. I don't need to impress them, I don't have to worry about them. And yea I guess all I really need is myself. For me... I don't like people either. But I also want to socialize and do everything they do. And I guess I just want people to know I exist. I want everyone to know me for good reasons too. I try to help people and bring smiles to their faces. The most difficult part is though, I've been my own company my whole life. I have had friends here or there.... the reason behind that is everyone thinks I'm just an annoying, awkward, weirdo. And the friends I have now have been around for a while. But I still feel so isolated. Weither or not I'm around them. And For the last 2 years it feels like I have no choice but to be my own company. I've been trying to make myself a better person too. And it has worked. But there's still such a long way to go. Anyways... enough of my ramble lol. I want to thank you for that comment. It means so much to me. And the fact that there's someone out there that's kind of like me... blows my mind and gives me a little hope lol.
- Date posted
- 3y
@rmono I'm still going to thank you lol. š It makes me super happy that someone sees me like that. And right now I'm actually hanging out with my friends. I finally got myself out of my room after 2 weeks. I don't know what else to say. I guess I just have to be grateful for what I have in myself and with others. I'm grateful for you being able to understand. šš
- Date posted
- 3y
@rmono I'm going to continue to better myself and help others. Because that's what I know how to do best. I hope you're doing well also.
- Date posted
- 3y
@rmono Will do š
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
- Date posted
- 23w
Iāve been dealing with ocd and anxiety since I was a kid, but these recent years have been the worst itās ever been. Itās hard to communicate with people about your mental health so Iāve been self isolating by accident lol, my social anxiety is terrible and itās extremely stressful for me to hangout with people and my friends donāt seem to really understand even when I try my best to explain. They notice I donāt hangout as much but to them itās āme being weird ā or ā a fake friendā I donāt know what to do and itās frustrating
- Date posted
- 16w
iāve been dealing with SOCD for 5 years and truly believe it has altered my life completelyš. i havenāt been properly diagnosed but the child therapist I had when i was in hs kind of hinted to me i had something more than just plain anxiety. iāve also dealt with intrusive thoughts all throughout my childhood and as my family life got worse my anxiety got worse annnd i started getting more and more thoughts that wouldnāt leave me. I remember spending months not swallowing right and practically starving myself bc i kept thinking i was going to choke. i also rmbr spending months worrying ab death and dying EVERYDAY. it woke up with horrible anxiety and it was all i could think about. i can still rmbr sitting in my grandpas chair and just staring off and thinking āim going to die one dayā āidk whatās going to happenā āis god realā āi donāt want to dieā āwhat if there is no heavenā and so on. when the socd thoughts started i was 15. i searched around online for help and found reddit and i was like āomg yes finally people who understand and are going through EXACTLY what im going through.ā finding that community and this app has helped me so much. anyway i had such a horrible time during my teenage years bc of all the intrusive thoughts about my sexuality, my relationship (glad thatās over), and some other things here and there. i was so so depressed and i felt no one around me understood how fucking awful i felt. i woke up everyday anxious, depressed, numb, and exhausted. when i started college i told my old therapist that even tho im extremely afraid of death i just didnt like living. i would cry in my car before class and just sob ab how awful i felt. although my mental health has gotten SO much better as time went on and the thoughts havenāt been as frequent im definitely not doing well. i am literally stuck. iām still in college but i donāt know what to do with myself. those years of anxiety and depression have left me STUCK. im so much happier? and i can manage the thoughts way better but i donāt want to do anything. i only talk to 2 friends (literally lost so many great friendships), i RARELY drive bc im afraid ill die in a car crash (only to school and back), i donāt go out, i donāt ask for help at school, i avoid conversations, i avoid ppl in general, i donāt put in that much effort into school, i donāt have hobbies, i donāt want to do anything, i literally have the worst social anxiety now, im afraid of everything. i feel like the only reason im āokā now is bc iāve avoided literally everything. iāve basically spent three years of my life doing nothing. iām not happy with where i am in my life but im so scared to do anything. i miss who i was before all of this. iāve been dealing with anxiety all my life and ik my childhood and early teen years made me like this. i didnāt know how to deal with the things i went through/saw as a little kid and i guess everything exploded in my teen years. but i want to be better i want to start LIVING. iām definitely happier than before but im not living. what frustrates me is i refuse to do anything about it. i know a big reason why i donāt experience as many intrusive thoughts is bc i avoid everything š. ik what i have to do to get better and turn my life around BUT I WONT DO ANYTHING. idk how to explain this but its not laziness i feel like my body is exhausted. i think im just so traumatized from feeling so fucking horrible for so many years i just shut down ykwim?? i donāt have any libido, i donāt find ppl attractive, i canāt get myself to do the things im interested in (so many books r piled on my floor), i rot all day, i push off my responsibilities till the last minute, i canāt even get myself to go on a small walk. i donāt know where i was going w this but if someone whoās going through the same thing sees this ur not alone. i just needed to get this out. hopefully one day things will get better.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond