Talking with my old friend I haven’t talked to in a while rn and my intrusive thoughts keep telling me I have a crush on him and stuff... 😞😞😞

my relationship ocd theme is back and it hasn’t for a while. i keep having intrusive thoughts about a friend even tho i have a boyfriend of 6 years. i like do not like this person they are good looking but im not like into them. i like feel guilty for no reason and i feel like i need to tell my boyfriend even tho like we’ve been through this before and it only gets better if i tell him but if i don’t i feel like im hiding something. AHH like i don’t even wanna see that person anymore

There’s this guy I just worked with who honestly felt like another version of me, someone who I could get along with massively. Everything we’d talk about was the same, our interest, our taste in films and music, it felt amazing to have someone to chat to. I can’t lie he was also physically very much my type, so I do fancy him. I said to my friend that I think I found the love of my life, but the sad thing is he’s taken so I’ll take having a crush dip and suppress the fact I fancy him and she went all serious with me. Started saying “good because that can ruin a friendship, especially with a girlfriend”, and it wasn’t meant to be so deep and now it’s got me massively overthinking. I’ve only known him a very short time but I wanted a friendship to be there yk, we’ll never really see one another every again after the festival but it felt nice to have had such a good friendship, even if I feel like I’m another life he would be the perfect one. Can I not feel like that and still have a friendship? I’m never gonna do anything about it, I currently like someone else and he also has a gf, but can I not joke about it without it being all serious? I’m massively overthinking it

Ocd sucks. I’m at a stay away multiple days long event for school rn and ran into someone I used to talk with. We had a will they won’t they kind of thing for years and knew each other all growing up. I knew when we were really young that he had a crush on me for a while. And then when we got older there were times I had a crush on him but I don’t think he liked me anymore at that point. I never fully knew where he stood because he often was in a relationship or living somewhere else. Because we never dated or kissed or anything, only hung out on ambiguous date-like occasions, there has always been that what if sitting there for me and I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since before I met my current partner years ago. Well they happen to be at this place I’m staying at, where we are in the same places everyday, and I ran into them, said hi and caught up for a bit. It has totally triggered my ROCD in a way I’ve never experienced. I feel guilt and shame and keep having intrusive thoughts that are so extreme and catastrophic like what if I leave my partner of 8 years for him, what if I find him more attractive than my partner, what if I cross a line while I’m interacting with him this week, what if I’m a terrible girlfriend to my partner and a fraud??