i’m so frustrated. i just wish i could be okay again. i should’ve never taken meds, ever since i took them i can’t feel emotions and it’s worrying me. my thoughts are killing me. im so fucken scared for what my future will bring.

im so so so scared to become my worst nightmare, my thoughts keep telling me i don’t know my values, morals or anything. im so scared. the meds don’t allow me cry either😞

how did your pills make you feel?🥺

@Anonymous_234 About a month into taking them I got really bad intrusive thoughts and panic attacks, I think if I would’ve stuck to them I could’ve got better but they scared me so much I stopped them. I think you should push through this, just keep at those gentle erp exercises. Keep yourself busy and active so you aren’t thinking too much. Go out for a walk, a jog, a drive, shopping… anything to get out of your own head. You can do this I believe in you. You are not your thoughts. You have anxiety that latched to an idea. That’s it.

@Anon1294 right now i feeel extremely calm but i’m freaking out bc to my mind that means that it’ll only make me more capable of acting on my fears. and that scares me so much. i hate the what ifs . i was thinking about how my future would look like before ocd and i was thinking about how i would walk out of the hospital with the baby i always dreamed of having then my thoughts started with “but what if you sit in the back seat with your baby and you act on your thoughts!” this freaks me out so much. i hate being alone now.

@Anon1294 my anxiety latches to anything and i hate it so much.

@Anonymous_234 I want you to know that will be you someday and you’ll look back at this time as just a bump in the road. Ive notice that you have lots of fears of being alone in the car with your younger siblings, and your fears turned to something happening in the car that may be a trigger you can really make a breakthrough if you pin point those triggers and face them head on. Spend time in your car, watch videos of babies playing, little by little. And also don’t be afraid of feeling calm. That’s how exposure therapy works. We work towards feeling calm when we get those thoughts so they become uninteresting to our brain, and then our brain stops trying to figure them out. And eventually they stop coming as often. Don’t be afraid of the calm.

@Anon1294 thank you so much, im so sorry for bugging🥺 & yes alot of my fears are being left home alone with my siblings or me taking them to school, that’s when my thoughts decide to attack me most. & yes my therapist recommended the same exposures! OCD just latched onto another fear of mines, me n my siblings were talking about memories back then and i remembered we used to say “i’ll give you away for free! you’re annoying!!” and at first i was laughing about it then i remembered like 3 weeks ago my thoughts were telling me “what if you’re staring at her bc you’re planning to sell her or something “ and i panicked and i stopped looking at her. a week later i was able to just get over it until when i went to mexico a little girl smiled at me so i smiled back and immediately felt like a weirdo & my thoughts reminded me of when i had the thought of my little sister. i kept my head down the whole time bc i was scared i was going crazy or insane.

@Anonymous_234 Just keep remembering that your brain latched to this when you had a moment of high anxiety, and it spiraled from there. You don’t have any intentions of doing bad things, it’s your anxious mind over estimating a risk and trying to protect you from it

@Anon1294 it’s so scary, i wish i could just be okay already😞

@Anonymous_234 You got this, keep doing that erp no matter how uncomfortable you feel it will work. Trust me

thank u!

hey! yess lmk when it’s posted!🤍

@Anonymous_234 It's just got a little bit to go! I only just found this song tonight, so I may have sang it a little differently than the original, but I love the words!

@Anonymous_234 Hey it uploaded and I just shared in on here in a post!! I start singing at 10 mins lol if you don't want to hear the talking.