- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
the “what ifs” are gonna be the death of me.
- Date posted
- 3y
Meds made me feel very weird too but stick them out if you can 🥺❤️ you got this
- Date posted
- 3y
im so so so scared to become my worst nightmare, my thoughts keep telling me i don’t know my values, morals or anything. im so scared. the meds don’t allow me cry either😞
- Date posted
- 3y
how did your pills make you feel?🥺
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous_234 About a month into taking them I got really bad intrusive thoughts and panic attacks, I think if I would’ve stuck to them I could’ve got better but they scared me so much I stopped them. I think you should push through this, just keep at those gentle erp exercises. Keep yourself busy and active so you aren’t thinking too much. Go out for a walk, a jog, a drive, shopping… anything to get out of your own head. You can do this I believe in you. You are not your thoughts. You have anxiety that latched to an idea. That’s it.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anon1294 right now i feeel extremely calm but i’m freaking out bc to my mind that means that it’ll only make me more capable of acting on my fears. and that scares me so much. i hate the what ifs . i was thinking about how my future would look like before ocd and i was thinking about how i would walk out of the hospital with the baby i always dreamed of having then my thoughts started with “but what if you sit in the back seat with your baby and you act on your thoughts!” this freaks me out so much. i hate being alone now.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anon1294 my anxiety latches to anything and i hate it so much.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous_234 I want you to know that will be you someday and you’ll look back at this time as just a bump in the road. Ive notice that you have lots of fears of being alone in the car with your younger siblings, and your fears turned to something happening in the car that may be a trigger you can really make a breakthrough if you pin point those triggers and face them head on. Spend time in your car, watch videos of babies playing, little by little. And also don’t be afraid of feeling calm. That’s how exposure therapy works. We work towards feeling calm when we get those thoughts so they become uninteresting to our brain, and then our brain stops trying to figure them out. And eventually they stop coming as often. Don’t be afraid of the calm.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anon1294 thank you so much, im so sorry for bugging🥺 & yes alot of my fears are being left home alone with my siblings or me taking them to school, that’s when my thoughts decide to attack me most. & yes my therapist recommended the same exposures! OCD just latched onto another fear of mines, me n my siblings were talking about memories back then and i remembered we used to say “i’ll give you away for free! you’re annoying!!” and at first i was laughing about it then i remembered like 3 weeks ago my thoughts were telling me “what if you’re staring at her bc you’re planning to sell her or something “ and i panicked and i stopped looking at her. a week later i was able to just get over it until when i went to mexico a little girl smiled at me so i smiled back and immediately felt like a weirdo & my thoughts reminded me of when i had the thought of my little sister. i kept my head down the whole time bc i was scared i was going crazy or insane.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous_234 Just keep remembering that your brain latched to this when you had a moment of high anxiety, and it spiraled from there. You don’t have any intentions of doing bad things, it’s your anxious mind over estimating a risk and trying to protect you from it
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anon1294 it’s so scary, i wish i could just be okay already😞
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous_234 You got this, keep doing that erp no matter how uncomfortable you feel it will work. Trust me
- Date posted
- 3y
There are some great videos from Ali greymond on this. Basically with ocd, there is always anxiety somewhere in the chain. Whether you’re having anxiety about the thoughts, or you’re having anxiety about not having anxiety.
- Date posted
- 3y
thank u!
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey girl. I'm uploading this video to YT and it's for you and anyone who needs to hear it!! I will let you know when it uploads and I will post the link, or you can find me on YT as Carmen Singz. I'm here for you and I'm praying for you💖
- Date posted
- 3y
hey! yess lmk when it’s posted!🤍
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous_234 It's just got a little bit to go! I only just found this song tonight, so I may have sang it a little differently than the original, but I love the words!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous_234 Hey it uploaded and I just shared in on here in a post!! I start singing at 10 mins lol if you don't want to hear the talking.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I'm really frustrated right now because once again I feel like I can't keep up with my own brain and I just can't keep doing this. I'm so tired of doing this. My head is always going and going and going and I just want to unplug it. It makes me so stressed. It's like I have someone else in my head who won't shut up and is always pointing everything I do out. Like I'm walking on eggshells around myself so I don't trigger these thoughts. But if I walk on egg shells then it just goes on about something else and I feel like I'm going crazy.. I feel so bad because it makes me so snappy. I want to bash my head in because I'm so over it. The only thing I know that helps is anxiety meds, because I had one one time and it actually really helped me (it didn't even do it's job! Because of how bad my anxiety is!! I'm just so desperate at this point for relief) But the last time I brought up going on meds for anxiety with my mom she said I'll get addicted, like my dad, or my grandma, or whoever else in my family because everyone in my family is addicted to SOMETHING. I don't see the issue in trying though. I feel like I'm someone who could really benefit from anxiety meds. I don't talk about my feelings often BECAUSE of anxiety, so it seems like I'm just trying to go on meds for no reason. But it's like..my body hurts. All the time. And my brain never stops. My brain is so messed up. I feel like I could do so much more if I wasn't like this. It's never going away, I've tried and I've tried and I'm still a mess. I just want it to stop. I'm not asking for much. I just want the fear to stop and the intrusive thoughts to stop and the racing thoughts and the feelings of doom and the nervousness and and I actually want to feel okay in my own skin for fucking once. I've tried everything nothing works im losing patience and I'm losing hope. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I feel like my brain is broken and that makes me sad to be honest. I feel like everyone around me can work. Why can't my stupid brain work???? I try so hard. I try so hard all the time. And it still doesn't do what it needs to do. I hate myself so much.
- Date posted
- 20w
I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.
- Date posted
- 11w
this is probably kinda jumbled but over the past almost year or so i've slowly realized i have ocd (i'm diagnosed audhd but over time i started feeling like those alone didn't cover the whole issue yk?), and recently i've been kinda worried i guess. it’s just that i’m turning 21 in 6 months and i’m afraid that this disorder is going to rob me of joyful adult milestones in my life. honestly being 20 has sucked, i can’t even remember wtf being 18 was like, and my childhood in general wasn't the best either, but i've been struggling a lot as of late and i don't want how i feel now to be the same as how i feel next year. my meds have helped quiet my compulsions a significant amount (i literally felt like i was going kinda cray cray when i was off them 😭) but they’re not completely gone. sometimes it just seems like this is all it's ever gonna be forever and i’m always gonna feel ashamed of myself for just like… existing. my 21 year old self deserves to be happy but idk if i’ll be able to give that to her 🥲🥲🥲
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