- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Idk I guess the point of this post is to see if anyone relates which I know is bad but I just can’t help but think these thoughts could define who I am ig😞
- Date posted
- 3y
hey going thru the intrusive thoughts now and it gets better. I also experience with porn addiction and am have not been watching it and eventually those thoughts will fade with time too well for me
- Date posted
- 3y
I hear you and relate
- Date posted
- 3y
I’d love to be like accountability partners with this! It’s hard to find someone
- Date posted
- 3y
I’d like that. It’s honestly hard to still accept that I have an addiction like it seems like I don’t but at the same time it’s like having sex isn’t quite enough sometimes. Is that relatable for you and if so how did you get over that?
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re not alone. It’s actually common for people with OCD, especially having taboo obsessions, to feel guilty about them. You can always talk to your therapist about integrating sex into exposure work. It’s also really common for people with OCD to have intrusive thoughts during sex which is the worst cause it totally ruins sex. Stay strong, you got this! ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
That's a big mood. It took me years to build a mental fortitude to deal with my intrusive thoughts. I would use mental imagery or symbolism to get rid of them like imagining the thoughts I didn't want as a Polaroid picture on a tree stump in a peaceful park and then using a chainsaw or flame thrower to destroy them lol. I know it probably feels like those thoughts are there because what If you secretly want them, but I promise you that's not how ocd works. Ocd makes you hyper focus on the things you literally don't want to think about. It's a real mind fuck. Porn can be great as long as it gives you a sense of comfort and joy and isn't ruining your life or getting in the way. I personally love anime tiddy and it relaxes me to look at and enjoy, but when my OCD latched onto it and had me dead ass browsing Twitter all day every day, saving, tagging and organizing anime tiddy pictures, I didn't have time to do anything else I wanted, and it stopped being fun and relaxing and more like a job I had to do. I still struggle with it sometimes but I had to force myself to stop checking and go play video games instead or something
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I feel like one of the worst things about ocd are the disturbing images or the ‘little movies’ that replay in your head over and over again. I have the worst sexual images with one of my family members that actually so bad that I can’t even look in the mirror. And it’s even worse that I have a lovely boyfriend and I’m so disgusted of myself that I feel like I don’t deserve him and I feel like I can’t be with him because of these thoughts, even he is the most precious thing in my life. These sexual images are so horrible and what makes it even worse that in these pictures I always see myself as someone who enjoys it. I know how to deal with this anymore. My mind is trying to convince me that that I actually like these images and thoughts and this is the hardest part, that I’m doubting myself. These images pop up in my head so naturally that I always question myself if I actually don’t like it why it comes so naturally or how can my brain picture things like this if I don’t like it. It’s getting worse day by day. It’s in my head 24/7, can’t concentrate on anything else, I can’t eat because I’m constantly throwing up. And my mom has to sleep with me every night because I’m so disturbed by my own mind. My parents know that there’s something wrong with me, they think I’m depressed but sadly It’s not something I can talk openly about with them. I’m seeing a therapist next week but I’m genuinely scared to open up about these thoughts that I’m having.
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
- Date posted
- 13w
I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.
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