I’m really struggling and need to vent. I met this guy, he seemed to be what I wanted. He told me from the first day, guys and girls can’t be friends - I have to stop talking to my guy friends. For example, I have had a guy friend for 5 years and we did kiss, but have been friends since then. He told me I can no longer speak with him. The issue is, this guy friend has been friends with my entire family for over 5 years (comes to bday parties, Christmas stuff, he works with my brother in law, is like an uncle to my niece, etc. i see him as a friend only, but this guy I met says that I can’t even say hi to him at a family party - he expects me to just walk away. This guy and I also are not dating, just been talking for a few weeks (3 weeks). He really cared less to make time to see me, I’ve only seen him twice in the past month. Granted he’s been busy working and traveling, but he doesn’t make set in stone plans - I just get “maybe I’ll want to hang out, maybe I won’t - I just don’t know” in my head, I’m like ok this guy doesn’t care. There are other things that have happened, but the point is. I ended up seeing my guy friend of five years, hanging out with groups of guy friends and girl friends, etc. and I lied to him about it. I ended up telling him and he FLIPPED out on me. Calling me disgusting, karma will get me, a hoe, etc. i did not hook up with anyone, I just hung out with people who were guys - one of them being a good guy friend for years. He ignored me for two days then finally answered me and told me to text my guy friends to never contact me again and to leave me alone. I tried to explain to him that he never made me feel as though he liked me, so I thought he wasn’t interested. He said my feelings don’t matter. I’m trying to work it out with him, but I feel so so guilty and like a shitty person for even lying. I’ve never lied like this before, I’ve always been honest and up front. I was so afraid of losing this guy I had just met, but also felt as though I couldn’t cut off my life the way he wanted me too. I feel awful, guilty. He told me to prove to him I am going to change and MAYBE we will have something. But, I feel as though the best thing to do it just let him go.

Feeling so devastated. I need advice. I have a really great co-worker/friend that I have known for two years now. We have become great friends over time. Today, I came back to work after a two week vacation and was so excited to see all my co workers again (him being one of them). I said hello how are you etc in the way I always do and he immediately said hi! Your face looks chubby. I was taken aback because this is not how you want your face to be described. But I kind of laughed it off and said lol that’s not a compliment. He said he meant it in a good way and that we were friends so he thought I would understand. I again am still laughing and as we were talking about this, a newer co-worker came over to chat. I said to her “would you want your face to be called chubby?” And she said no that’s not nice for a girl to hear even from a friend. She then walked off to go serve a table. Keep in mind I was giggling the whole time because my co worker thought that word was a compliment. I wasn’t actually mad. I brought in that other co worker to confirm what I was saying. Kind of like a hey you see it like this too right? Type of scenario. My coworker/ friend then proceeded to essentially go off on me. He was so angry that I would embarrass him like that and say those things in front of the new coworker. I wasn’t actually mad completely shocked. I was the one who was originally insulted and I was just trying to make the situation light by talking about it and laughing and he competently got so angry at me. I said wait whoa it was just a joke and he said well it didn’t fucking feel like it and then walked away. He then proceeded to talk to my other co workers about it essentially saying “why would she say that. She made me look so bad that was so embarrassing. Etc.” He hasn’t spoken to me since. I am so hurt and anxious by this situation. I hate to be ignored and I hate conflict. I genuinely don’t think I did anything wrong however. I feel awful that I made him feel embarrassed but his reaction to me was just so upsetting. He has never snapped at me before. We have never had an issue and have always been so understanding. My feeling is that he probably has a crush on this girl and felt embarrassed that he said something mean and now feels like he has no chance with her? Idk. That’s one guess. I want to apologize because I hate not talking it out and not being able to explain myself but I always end up apologizing for things that are not necessarily my fault. I just want to break the silence because it’s so uncomfortable. It’s almost a compulsion. But I am trying to stand my ground and be strong and not go into a rant about how sorry I am etc. when he was the one that made a rude comment to begin with. I would love someone’s advice on this and what I should end up doing. It’s just hurts so bad right now I have been ruminating over this all day. I can’t think of anything else.

hi everyone. i feel this is the only platform where i can vent. i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. at first, i caught him messaging other girls, asking for their only fans and would message his cousin to text him saying they’re going to the movies that way he can escape with someone else. he would smoke and drink alot. last year, he told me he was drinking after work and wouldn’t answer my calls or texts. he did not get home until 4am and expected me to not be mad. he would aggressively throw things whenever he would be upset. this of course, created a lot of anxiety and trauma. that day, i grabbed my things and left. i ended up giving him a 2nd chance because he was begging me and promised he would change. just last night, he did the same exact thing. he was drinking with his coworkers and i called him because it was getting late (8pm). he kept declining and texted he was w his coworkers and not to pick him up because his cousin was going to pick him up to continue drinking. this of course made me very upset and I told him i felt neglected. I told him I was done with our relationship because I cannot continue to tolerate this. he turned off his phone and got home until 1am. he was upset and said i should just wait for him to get home to talk. today, i packed my bags and left. i do not want to continue feeling anxious or neglected. am i in the wrong for packing my things and leaving? should i have stayed and talked to him? i am super heartbroken as we also had a dog who we both love very much. i feel like i lost my 2 loves and my heart is shattered. i would greatly appreciate anyone to respond. thank you!

my name is isma, i am 19 in nyc. i met this amazing guy at the beginning of the year, we hit it off immediately and he really stood out to me. i recently broke up with him because i feel like if id put him thru a lot if he’d stay with me. i recently came out to my parents and it wasn’t voluntary. i was caught with him and then had to reveal that i was gay. my parents didn’t take it too well. i felt uncomfortable and a little scared to be at home for some days. that settled in a week and both my parents told me they were acceptant but in the end it just felt to me like if they accepted me but they just didn’t wanna know about it anymore in a sense of just avoiding touching on the topic. now me and my boyfriend, i was going thru a lot and he gave me all his attention and was there for me whenever i had to vent or just cry because of everything going on. it’s crazy to think that at 19 years old id be coming out to my parents when at the start of the year, i never thought that’d be something id end up doing. ive never been open about my emotions or a “soft” person because i was never able to be myself at home and with my parents. sometimes i can’t even hug anyone. i find it hard to speak to strangers that r not my friends. i’m very picky when it comes to making friends. i feel like my thoughts are all over the place and im very indecisive. i miss my boyfriend and i wanna go back with him but im scared that ill ruin things again. before him, i was stuck in hookup culture and thought that by hooking up w a guy i was interested in, he’d wanna stay with me and get to know me. i was used many times and ive also used people many times. i’ve been done dirty and ive done people dirty, i dont think of myself as a good person but i felt loved and deeply cared for by this guy. he lives in nj and i live in ny. sometimes he’d even surprise me at work and i cried the first time he did. i felt so special and in awe because i would’ve never thought i could get so emotional over a small gesture. to me it wasn’t a small gesture. it was everything because he came from all the way in nj to ny just to see me for a couple of minutes. i hate the way that i am. i am unconfident, i think i am so ugly, sometimes i question how he found me attractive to date. i overthink everything, i cried one time imagining him coming to see me in ny then having to go home so late back to nj, i dont think im worth it and i felt like i didn’t deserve that and maybe it’d be better if he found someone near him. i also compared myself a lot with him. he’s such a kind spirited person, he’s always smiling and i on the other hand get told i look sad or anxious. i am i pretty negative person and that just adds on to me being an overthinker. i always thought someone as happy as him deserves another happy person and not someone who gets mad or agitated easily. i wish i can be more for him, i do miss him a lot and i plan on talking with him again. i just wanna talk everything out, even if we don’t date for sometime, i wanna be around him and know we’re gonna get back there again someday. he’s the best person that’s came to my life, i know ppl may say to let it go and see it as a learning experience but i don’t wanna move on if it’s not me moving on by his side. i really do wanna be with him i just wanna get my head clear. i don’t know what to do, im stuck