i used to be able to just fuck around and kiss girls for fun at parties and even consider threesome fully knowing i was straight and was just open to it for fun. now if someone brings this up to me or whatever i get so scared. like hocd completely changed my mindset in that way. i always knew i was straight and was confident in it and now i’m worries i’m bisexual or lesbian. and it takes my attraction away from boys. which is what i actually desire in my heart. fuck this man

i have always been attracted to males and and have always been boy crazy. but my ocd won’t stop telling me that i’m bi and i hate it so much. if feels so real at this point and i feel like my ocd has changed everything

I guess I'm gay. This is it. Im attracted to both men and women, but I get a stronger sexual reaction to women. I dont want to be gay. I'm with a boy who I love, but now I'm scared that I love my best friend instead of him. Before hocd I had no feelings for her at all. I dont want to have feelings for her. Before HOCD I didn't think I was gay, but because of comments that I saw yesterday it feels completely true now. I'd like to identify as straight, but that feels wrong because if I was healthy Id most likely want to be gay, right? I hope that isnt true. I'm not allowed to identify as straight because that's just proof that I'm in denial. I'm deep in denial. I want to die. I need help. But I can't afford help. I don't get a sexual response from looking at either gender now, which is very distressing because checking no longer works. I don't want my boyfriend to leave my life. I dont want to stop being intimate with him. I love talking to him, holding his hand, and hugging him, and kissing him and having sex with him. I'm scared I'm only with him for reassurance now. I dont want to get help if that means leaving him, but now I'm scared that's because I want to be straight, not because I love him. The most fucked thing about this is when I first developed hocd it was when I was going through puberty. I'd be terrified that I'd accidentally look at a girls boobs or butts, not even because I had the inclination to. It started from there and for some reason I got the shit end of the stick and it developed into being true. Have I convinced myself that I'm gay and I'm really not? I've been dealing with this so long I honestly have no idea. This bothers me so much because it's all about sex. What the fuck does sex have to do with loving someone? Love is not sex. I fucking hate societies view on sex and sexuality. I'm scared that if I dont react to these supposed feeling for my friend then they'll haunt me for ever. I dont want to lose my boyfriend.

so i’m straight, but one thing that’s always bothered me was i was never the type to look at a guy and automatically think dirty thoughts about them like some girls do i would think they’re good looking and move on. but lately i have been looking at guys and think ways i never have before because i don’t really care for sex but this time i actually think about it when i find someone attractive and it started to worry me because i was like i never thought that much sexually before so why am i now? and then i get thoughts in my head that say why are you worried aren’t you straight why are you worried to think sexual about guys? and it’s the anxiety about the fact that i actually think dirty thoughts when i see a cute guy and before i never would and then hocd coming in to play making me wonder that i shouldn’t be anxious if i was always straight but it’s not that i get anxious because i never thought that sexually before but ocd makes me think i’m worried about liking a guy but that’s not true sorry if it’s a bit confusing