For YEARS I have had so many intrusive thoughts about being fat and thinking I am fat and therefore unworthy. Feeling like IF ONLY I didn't have a pooch, I would have a boyfriend, and I would be considered one of the "pretty" girls. It's a SUPER STRONG core belief that I've held for such a long time. I've worked on it so much in therapy in the past but it WON'T LET GO!!!!!! And it's embarrassing and I JUST WISH I could stop having all these obsessions about my stomach!!! I COMPULSIVELY look at my stomach and wonder if people notice it. It's holding me back. I hate hate hate it. It's so so bad. I am EMBARASSED to be around my family members, kind, loving, and understanding as they are, because I'm chubbier than all my siblings. I can't explain these thoughts to my mom AGAIN for the MILLIONTH time, because she is always there for me, but there's only SO MUCH that she can do to reassure me. It's OCD. Reassurance DOESN'T HELP. And that's why I feel stuck, and lost. It sucks soooo much. I feel like less of a person because of my stupid stomach. I have obsessions of carving it off with a knife sometimes. They are super minor obsessions and I have NO fear that I will act on them. My brain is just so obsessed with having a FLAT STOMACH and DOING AWAY with the excess. I just wish the thoughts would stop!!!! :(