I miss the days where I didn’t have this constant worry and anxiety

Is this even a possibility? I'm not even sure if it's an OCD issue, GAD, or maybe a lack of something else, but I'm just constantly feeling off. Even if I'm not getting constant intrusive thoughts, I just feel on edge all the time? Is there anyone who's been able to overcome this? It bothers me so much 😭

do y’all ever look back at memories from your camera roll and come across the time in your life when things were really bad? because when i do, i just feel so sad for the mental state i was drowning in. not that i’m not still, but i have more perspective on it so i’m able to manage it more. but a couple years ago, i rarely left my bed because of how depressed i had gotten. what’s worse is during that time, i had wished that i wanted to unalive myself. but there was never a point when i did want to so it made me upset because i had no way out if i couldn’t handle it anymore. however, i think that’s a blessing in disguise because i was thankfully able to get out of that dark period. i’m still experiencing terrible anxiety, but because i have those times to reflect on and remember i made it through, it’s motivating.

So a few months ago a suffered with a really bad panic attack (I didn’t know what it was at the time) and my anxiety has never been the same since. It’s almost like I had to relearn living life with this new anxiety. I have had to force myself into uncomfy situations to remind myself that this will not over come me. It seems that my anxiety stems from being in a place I’m not familiar with or have this feeling that I may be stuck and can’t get out back to a place where my body feels at ease. I wanted to expose myself to a very uncomfortable situation to prove that I will be ok. So I took myself and 15 year old brother on a 3 day long trip to 2 major cities NYC and Philly. I did have some small moments where I felt heart palpitations or that I couldn’t relax (mainly driving into these cities/ being stuck in traffic is what spiked it) But over all I’m feeling really happy with how I managed the trip. I think I’m just mourning the person I was before this anxiety. A few years ago I would’ve never felt that kind of anxiety on the trip. Maybe leading up to it. But I’m hoping the more I continue to force myself out of this bubble that anxiety wants to put me in, I will begin to regain the ability to be away from home and relax again.