im pretty positive i have rOCD. ive had a lot of intrusive thoughts about the future and every possible thing that could go wrong, and my partner knows i experience this quite often. but recently ive started to become very jealous :[ im a gay trans guy [he/him] , and my partner is pan and agender [they/them]. one of the things we do most together is watch tv shows and movies we both enjoy. pointing out characters we think are attractive or hot has never been an issue for me until recently. they will point out a girl they think is hot, and i get extremely anxious or jealous. but its only when they point out girl, and im not sure why it affects me so much. but now beacuse i cant find anyone who experiences the EXACT SAME ISSUE, ive somehow convinced myself im misogynistic and panphobic. i dont know how i came to this conclusion, but i did. it feels just as absurd as it sounds, but then i worry thats actually the case. i dont know what to do or how to help myself, i tried to just tell myself that its okay to feel jealous sometimes, but i keep circling back to the worst possible scenario, like us possibly breaking up or me being a terrible person. i dont know what to do, does anyone know any ways i can calm myself down without seeking reassurance feom my partner? :[[

it started when i simply worried about my partner losing feelings because she was being a bit distant and so i obviously spiraled and started thinking “oh yeah she has to be losing feelings of some sort” she was only being distant because she was preparing for her confirmation party (this is important) and me and my friend hung out the same day and ended up walking to her house to say hello to her as a joke. but i was already way too deep in my spiral. right after that interaction with her, she literally reassured me right then and there that i was “cute” and that “she really likes me” but i was so caught up in the idea that shes losing feelings for me that i couldnt accept the reassurance and kept having intrusive thoughts that shes lying to me and that she doesnt mean it. but whatever, i wasnt THAT worried because her confirmation is coming up and she wouldnt lose feelings for me before something like that right? a couple days pass by and im at her confirmation party, shes being a little distant but only because shes tired (evidently too) and so i was still in a spiral. but then i met her family, and her mom let me have her number (in case i wanna schedule something with my gf) and that sparked a whole episode. i talked to her mom a couple times and started worrying about if what it would be like it i left my gf and how it would affect me and her family and quickly a thought followed up with all her physical imperfections and how much i dont like specific ones. and then another one came up. i saw one photo pf my partner and swore it looked like someone in my math class who isnt attractive. i managed to get rid of that thought the first time, and had to deal with the imperfections idea thing for a whole month. recently tho, the unattractive girl from my math class is popping up in my head again. i cannot get it out of my head, any advice? what is this phenomenon and also im pretty sure im the only person who has dealt with all of these thoughts.

Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship..

Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship.. Today, for the first time, my partner cried because of it .. I didn’t know how to deal with my thoughts, and seeing him like that made me realize that I really need to change something. Anything that doesn’t make sense to me feels unbearable. And as soon as I talk about one thing, the next thought comes into my head, something else that doesn’t make sense and leaves me feeling uncertain again. I honestly feel extremely helpless right now.. Just as a side note: I was officially diagnosed with ROCD in a previous relationship, not with my current partner, but in a past one.