a vent - read if you want to, I need advice as well. I just feel overwhelmingly sad and scared
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i love her
but why does it seem as though
I don't and i'm scared of that thought
what if i like other people, seeing other people makes me scared, cause i do not want feelings for anyone else
but her, she's special to me. and i don't want to make it seem like i don't love her anymore
when i really do.
i just don't want to lose someone special
do i love her for her?
or do i just love her for something else. what if i'm just lying to myself.
why am i asking these things.
i feel like a horrible person
i don't know what to do
i'm so lost, i feel so bad that we have to go through this, i feel so bad for having to think like this
why am i this way, we were fine before, why did the thoughts and feelings come to ruin it.
i need my head to be clear but i can't seem to do that either. I'm so lost still lost even if we're taking a break
why can't i get answers? why can't i think straight, why can't i just feel love without worrying again, feeling certain we'll love til we're old
I always had faith in us, but why am i so scared that if i look at other people i'll feel attracted to them, when i really don't wanna love anyone else.
I just want to love her, why is that so hard all of the sudden?
I don't want to seem like i'm stuck in this relationship, cause i'm not. this relationship is my life, my happiness my everything
she is my everything, but why am i so scared, why can't i trust myself, why do these uncomfortable feelings hit me these thoughts that pop up and just scare me
or just make me question myself after, do i love her? why did i think of that, why did i think of this other person
what is WRONG with me.
I'm so scared, I just want to love her and only her. she's my life.
and i'm scared that i'm just ruining it now, i'm scared to lose her
i'm scared to lose myself and not love her anymore. I don't know, i really don't