Can’t hold down food. Taking my lorazepam on top of my other meds so that I don’t have the post breakup panic attacks I’ve been getting in the morning and also so I have an appetite. I am being careful with my dosing so I don’t become dependent but I’m afraid I’ll need the benzos long term. This breakup was like the final straw in my mental health. I got back up so many times after trauma and I just get knocked back down even harder. How many more lessons do I need to learn in life before happiness comes? I’m currently on short term disability from work for mental health but I can’t even imagine myself going back right now. I can’t even handle doing a simple zoom call with colleagues.

Dont beat yourself down so much. Nobody is perfect. You need to take as much time as you need before you go back to your regular work schedule. I took a few months off then I quit my job to find something less stressful. I still struggle everyday around people because I'm afraid of judgment. I had always been very self conscious and it's not a healthy way to live. I recently had a breakup and it's also been tough for me because I havent been able to see my boys and it's the birthday next month. Sometimes life will knock you down but you have to stay in the fight and push forward.

You need to stay strong. I've had a troubled past as well but you need to remember that it's in the past and you cant change it . Only learn from it and try your absolute best. I've never experienced anything you went through and I can only imagine how difficult that must have been. Now that I'm a single father I feel like the only way I can be in a healthy relationship is to be with someone that I can relate to PTSD,OCD, anxiety and depression. I think you will find someone who will care for you unconditionally no matter what you went through. Never let your past mistakes dictate your future success

You are hard on yourself but you will grow strong from these experiences. I feel the same way about approaching people in public. Like if I'm interested in them i wouldn't know how to be normal and i end up coming off awkward. Yeah I understand the debt part . I still owe 15k in school loan debt and I recently paid off a 4k credit card debt. Just keep pushing. Keep the consistency. Let the universe do its thing and dont force anything. Let life play its role and you'll see everything will be okay.

Thank you. I highly appreciate it! Hope your having a blessed day. I'm glad I survived another day at work. It's been getting better

I was struggling for a bit where I was constantly trying to stop negative thoughts so I kept praying for positive thoughts. Is the scrupulosity OCD? It was so mentally draining!