It’s hard for me to say it to people, but I think if I want to get better I should. I’m gonna start listening to my recording. I realized that while I was doing a good job of mindfulness and breaking out of the cycle. I need to face the “fears”. So here goes… I have intrusive thoughts about my mother. Truthfully, these are all from when I was a lot younger. However, the thought popping back up was me remembering it from 13 years ago. Ever since this feeling of blah and and anxiety has been through me for months. I also have ROCD. Really tough breakup with a lot of issues, and the questioning of everything in a relationship. Especially, do I find the person attractive every day. Or if I notice any “flaws”. All of this to me makes me sound like this “Toxic Masculinity Guy.” And I’m not like that. It also stems from wanting to love and romance like they have in movies and having to finally realize that love is not like the movies. I want them to stop, and I get moving past. But I got to figure this out, so I can move past.