Anyone here who struggles with pocd, I know it’s an emotional roller coaster, but I really wanna get better. Please tell me your erp experience and or your intentional exposure Practices.

I know I have to, but it’s so so so hard. I felt fine today, I wasn’t pacing and I was able to able to hold a conversation, but that makes them feel real. Just scared. I don’t even know how I’d be able to accept this uncertainty, I don’t wanna hurt a child!

I know, but I keep having the thought of “look up child porn” I’m so afraid centaur that I will. It feels like such a strong urge, I haven’t had the urge like thoughts in a while. (Ok I thought with the thought and told myself maybe I will maybe I won’t) I do feel a little better and feel like the urge thought is gone.

@Purplebirdie24 U have urges to that sucks yea but did your therapist teach u how to write scripts

@CubicCentaur No I haven’t even started yet, I have my first real NOCD meeting Tuesday at 4;00

@Purplebirdie24 Hey cubiccentar I added you back

@Purplebirdie24 I see ask him or her about it and make sure u learn to look at pictures of kids as u learn scripts the secret to this to give ur self more anxiety and deal with it in the moment

@Purplebirdie24 I’ve been reading your post and this is exactly what I’m struggling with. I’m terrified to even go on the internet because my thoughts keep telling me to “look up child p***” or that I have before. If I have to go on the internet, I take screenshots of all my websites I’ve visited. It’s honestly so exhausting and it’s making me not be able to trust myself. I’m sorry you’re going through this too. Just know you’re not alone.

@Hamsteronswitch Hi this is super late post. How are you doing now?

Trigger warning!! I have thoughts a lot. Like what if I rape a child, or am I attracted to children. What if I act on these thoughts. It feels horrible when there is no anxiety, make them feel real. I can’t stop pacing back and forth, I probably went around my kitchen counter like 20 times now.

@Purplebirdie24 Also I’m creating a group chat for ocd people to talk about what ever we want to talk about with out judgment I currently have maybe one but if ur interested my snap chat is @CubicCentaur150

Will I Act on My OCD Urges? Almost two decades ago, impulse control disorders (ICD) was a part of the obsessive compulsive spectrum (Grant et al 2006). How clinicians conceptualize OCD and impulsive control disorders are quite different now. Impulse issues have long been a source of frustration for some individuals with OCD. Many people who have OCD (not all) often struggle, not knowing if their urges will eventually turn into behaviour that will implicate them in the future. For instance, a person with Harm OCD may struggle with the urge to grab a knife and hurt a family member or a person with Incest OCD may become anxious with sexual urges around their siblings. What we are aware of now is that there isn’t a significant overrepresentation of impulse control disorder symptoms in OCD patients. Despite OCD patients reporting urges and impulses, there are clear distinctions that are made that separate OCD patients from those with impulse control issues.

@CubicCentaur The Relationship Between Thoughts and Urges Many individuals who experience difficulties with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder may describe difficulties with feeling urges or impulses in combination with their intrusive thoughts. At times, these can be described as overwhelming and anxiety provoking. Jon Hershfield’s text, Harm OCD, indicates, “people with harm OCD often describe their intrusive thoughts as ‘urges’ because it’s difficult to find another word for the marriage of an intrusive thought and a sensation in the body that seems to indicated an imminent action. If you feel like your hand wants to move near a knife, you may interpret that as a scary urge to grab the knife and use it for harm. But this is actually better understood in OCD as a feeling obsession or intrusive feeling, not a genuine urge. (Hershfield 2016)” The feared feeling can bring on overwhelming anxiety, but it doesn’t have to be feared. Obtaining an understanding that the feeling is manifested by your fears (for example, what you really don’t want to happen, such as killing someone) can help manage the urges. The fear may be brought on by the thought that the feeling may alter your feelings so you aren’t feeling what you believe you should be feeling (Grayson 2014). In other words, you believe that your thoughts, feelings and more specifically your urges will alter who you are, your values and your beliefs. But, this is far from true. This shift in personality and belief structure is highly unlikely.

Do Thoughts Lead to Action? Although it is true that thinking about an action is part of the process of beginning a series of behaviours, it is not true that having a thought about an action always leads to that action. This can be said with activities that you may have had the thought to do this past week, but didn’t begin doing. For instance, you may have had the thought to exercise, but didn’t. You may have also had the thought to do work, but chose to do something else instead. The link between thoughts and actions are indirect. Purdon and Clark’s text, Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts, indicates “you maybe have read that people can ‘act on impulse’ behaving in ways they regret later. That certainty is true; there are people who at without considering the consequences. However, the action such people engage in are actions that they enjoy or are desirable in the moment, such as shopping or gambling or yelling at someone they are angry with. They may regret the action later because of its consequences, but at the moment, the idea is quite attractive. (Purdon and Clark 2005)” Urges that come with OCD are not pleasurable. Acting on urges may go against your values and go against what you enjoy doing. This makes it far less likely that you would act on an urge.