Rocd; or not! Vent

Do you ever feel like if you have no more rocd, it was just the fact that under all you know you stopped to like them? We broke up past month (his problems, not because my rocd), and I was so overwhelmed that it was a relief. Really; we broke up two times, the first when I was full with ocd, and It was super painful, I cried a lot and I missed him. But this time... zero! I can't miss him, I can't feel sad! I was so mad with him for everything that he did that I hate to admit it, but it was the best solution. For me too. Probably, it was what I wanted for a while, but I couldn't do anything or admit it to myself. Plus, I started to find him like if I don't know him anymore, I would love to still have feelings for him; but I don't. I think that my rocd was telling me that. That we have no future. Or I don't have hope with him. Actually, now I find him pretty annoying sometimes, I look at him in a different way; and it is sad because now he is trying to solve his problems. I waited 5 months for this. I lost all my feelings in thoose 5 months because he never puts effort. And NOW he is trying to solve. That really make me super angry. Plus today he sent me a video; and I didn't found him attractive at all! So i don't know If I got rocd because I already don't love him or if I just don't know how you should love someone in an healthy way. Anyway, he is putting effort to solve things. But how can I open my hear again to someone that already broke it twice? I already know how things will be.... plus now, I'm the one with no feelings, that hate a lot of things he did and do