Ok so I suffer from intrusive thoughts around my husband. I know that ruminating is bad and that I need to learn to sit with the thoughts and feelings. It’s hard but I’m managing a little more each day but I have a constant feeling of being in denial, burying my head like I really should be reacting, checking, figuring it out. Is this normal when doing the work? Does it get better eventually and how long does it take?
I’ve seen this referred to as the back door spike. I am in the early stages of ERP myself, but have done OCD work for a while now. When you resist compulsions, your OCD comes back with even stronger “what ifs” to try and hook you. Keeping on resisting the compulsions and OCD will eventually quieten. Try not to put a time frame on it 🙂
I too have similar feelings of “but this one REALLY needs solving”. I see OCD as a massive attention seeker, it isn’t getting the attention it is craving from me so it’s doing a whole performance to really try and get me to look. Ignore its performance and keep going with resisting. If you notice you’ve done a mini compulsion, notice it, and go back to resisting.
Thank you so much. I’m trying very hard but it’s tough and hard to ignore. Will keep at it 💪
I find it really hard too. I just now found myself doing a sneaky compulsion because I believed OCD’s big “what if” display. You just bring yourself back to the present and keep on going. We’re creating new pathways in our brain, that’s going to be hard to do - so keep going at it is the best method here! ❤️
You got this, that was my biggest hurdle that I had to get over. I am Christian, and what has really helped me is verbally speaking out loud over myself that I choose no matter what rational thoughts or lofty arguments try to set themselves up against that decision to try to ‘what if’ me out of it, I choose regardless. And in doing that my mind and my thoughts, good memories all of that slowly starts to trickle in one moment at a time as I continue to practice . And it builds up good memories, and truth, that overrides all those bad memories and what is
I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅
OK, this might sound really dumb, but when you guys get intrusive thoughts, do they just come once and then go away? I’ve heard that repeatedly thinking about an intrusive thought is considered ‘checking,’ but it doesn’t feel like I have any control over how many times it comes up in my head. It’s not like I’m trying to check anything—it just keeps showing up, almost like it’s terrorizing me every time. I can’t seem to stop it from looping, stop remembering it, or prevent it from coming up. Every time it does, I feel horrified, and I already know it’s going to horrify me. I don’t think I’m actively trying to see if my feelings have changed, so is this still considered checking? How do other people get an intrusive thought and just move on? Doesn’t it pop up a million times for them too? I always thought that was normal, but now I’m hearing this could be a compulsion, and I feel really confused, scared, and lost. Is this why my OCD feels so extreme? Because I really don’t feel like I can control how many times the thought pops up.
Whenever I have a non flirtatious, friendly interaction with a male my brain accuses me of cheating. I go into a full panic attack until I tell my husband then it goes away Same thing with intrusive thoughts. I'll have a random sexual thought about someone and my brain tells me that since I thought that it must be what I wanted and accuses me of cheating. Sometimes these thoughts come with actually physical feelings of what intruded. Thoughts of "what would it be like .." but I stop myself and then freak the flip out. With erp am I just supposed to let the sexual thoughts or accusations play out in my head?! It's excruciatingly painful. Also if I sit there and give into a sexual thoughts paired with the "mood" feelings how is that not mentally cheating 😵💫
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