Hocd, trigger*

Everyday i wake up, gay feels more natural, instead of having clarity Im straight like normal hocd sufferers, i have moments during the day where its clear to me that I am really gay. Not even questioning just feel like I cant accept it to be true. But I still experience high anxiety daily, my heart beats so fast bc of it it feels like it will jump out of my chest. This anxiety feels different than when ocd first started, Idk, i think Im just having anxiety bc im gay now or ive realized Im gay but my brains broken due to ocd and cant turn off the anxiety switch.